By the sounds of their conversation, you’d think my dad’s car was an actual person, a female, at that. Men were so weird.
“By all means.” My dad gestured toward the car. He grabbed the keys from the hook and tossed them to him.
Kline hopped in the driver’s seat and attempted to turn the engine. It didn’t start, and I’d never claimed to know car sounds, but whatever abnormal sound was coming from the car couldn’t have been good.
“See what I mean, son?” Dick asked, elbows resting on the driver’s side window.
Son? One bonding moment over his car and my dad was calling him son. I was sure any minute he’d give Kline his blessing and tell my mother to start planning my bachelorette party. No doubt, Dr. Savannah Cummings would prefer picking out penis straws to floral arrangements.
If anyone bought me dicks for my bachelorette party, it would be my mother. Cassie would provide the liquor and gift bag filled with crotchless panties. Now that I thought about it, it was a wonder I’d stayed a virgin for as long as I did. I was surrounded by a bunch of horny floozies.
“Dick, I think it’s the starter motor relay.”
“Really?”
Kline nodded. “I can hear the high-load relay engaging. Mind if I pop the hood and take a look at the engine?”
“Of course.” My father stood back from the car as Kline hopped out and busied himself under the hood.
After a few minutes, my boyfriend was convinced he knew the issue and could fix it. And by the look on Dick’s face, I was starting to wonder if he would be the one to marry Kline.
“I’m grabbing something to drink. You guys want anything?” I offered.
“I’m good, babe,” Kline declined, while my father merely mumbled, “No,” too damn entranced by what was going on underneath the hood of his car.
I walked out of the garage and into the kitchen, leaving them to their man time. Popping the tab on a can of Coke, I leaned my hip against the counter and took a gulp from the sugary soda.
To say I was shocked by the open-armed, constant-back-patting greeting my father had been giving Kline, would be the understatement of the century. My dad was never this nice to any guy I brought home. Growing up, it had been a common occurrence for Dick to clean his guns in the living room if he knew a boy was picking me up.
Sheesh. No wonder I’d fallen so fast for Kline’s charms. He practically had my dad, the boyfriend ballbuster, eating out of the palm of his hand.
I walked past my mother’s office, finding her typing away on her laptop. She paused, sliding her glasses to the brim of her nose. “What are you up to?”
“Nothing much. Dad and Kline are in the garage talking car shit.” I shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.
“Seems like they’re hitting it off.”
“Pretty sure Dad’s going to propose to my boyfriend before we head home.”
“I hope he lets me plan his bachelor party,” she joked.
See what I mean?
She smiled a wistful smile. “It’s always been a dream of mine to jump out of a cake and do a sexy striptease for your father. The closest we ever got to that was when I—”
I held my hand up. “For the love of God, I do not want to hear about you and Dick doing the nasty.”
“Georgia, sex is a normal human urge. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how many kids you have, you’ll still want to do it.”
“Are you finished psychoanalyzing my views on human sexuality, Dr. Cummings?” I asked, raising a skeptical brow.
Her smile turned curious and I braced myself for the next question that would come out of her mouth.
“Speaking of sex, how are things with you and Kline?”
“I’m not talking about my sex life with you.”
She pouted. “Oh, come on, sweetie.”
“Nope.” I raised both hands. “Not happening.”
My mother cupped her mouth, whispering, “Last night, it sounded like things were going really good.”
I groaned. “I get that you’re a sex therapist and you’re extremely open when it comes to talking about sex, but it’s a little creepy you were eavesdropping.”
“Actually, I wasn’t eavesdropping. You were just that loud.”
I gaped.
“I can’t tell you how happy this makes me.”
“You realize this isn’t a normal mother-daughter conversation, right?”
“It’s not the normal conversation society thinks we should be having, but I know it’s the conversation we should be having. Just know, I’m beyond thrilled you’ve found someone who makes you happy in every facet of your life. Not just in bed, which I have to say, from the sounds of it, Kline knows what he’s doing.” She winked. “But it’s obvious he makes you really happy. And anyone who can make my daughter walk around with a constant glow and a gorgeous smile is someone I hope she keeps around.” She paused as I smiled, and she considered me closely. “He seems like a really good man, Georgia. And he’s extremely lucky he found you.”