“Fucking Boobear.” He chuckled with another shake of his head. “Even I can’t deny that’s hilarious.”
It was Friday—the big date night with my boss—and I was sitting on the subway, heading home from work a little early. Nerves were starting to get the best of me. My brain ran through a thousand possible scenarios of how the charity event with Kline would go. Most of them were awkward and ended with me doing something outrageous. It was my M.O. I had a serious propensity for word vomit. A certified foot-in-mouth expert.
I needed someone to talk me off the proverbial ledge or else I’d end up faking the flu and backing out last minute.
Cassie was a no-go. She had just boarded a flight to Seattle to photograph an up-and-coming football star who’d signed with the Seahawks. My beautiful, spunky best friend had made a name for herself as a freelance photographer. Her photos had graced the pages of The Times, Cosmopolitan, and even ESPN. It seemed her lens had a knack for hot men flexing their muscles. Shocker, huh?
My mother was a hell-no. Ever the sex therapist at heart, she’d probably offer her sage advice of rubbing one out pre-date to stave off nerves.
My finger hovering over the TapNext icon, I finally said, “Screw it.” Maybe BAD_Ruck could make me feel better about this situation. We’d been chatting back and forth over the past few days, and despite the absurdity of our introduction to one another, I was really starting to like the guy. He was funny, laid-back, and could give good flirt. I spent a crazy amount of my day wondering what he was like in person. Did he really look like the guy in his profile? What did he do for a living? Where did he live in New York?
We hadn’t shared any intimate details of our personal lives, a la You’ve Got Mail, which I preferred at the present time. We weren’t living in the dial-up internet era of Kathleen Kelly, and it was a different world. For me, all of her dangers were magnified by a thousand—and she was worried Tom Hanks was a serial killer! These days, there was a show called Catfish. It seemed like people got off on it now more than ever. And, although Ruck was quite charming in our online conversations, I wasn’t convinced he wasn’t a complete weirdo in real life.
Funny how that didn’t stop me from messaging him.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:15PM): Ruck? Come in, Ruck? I need someone to talk me off the ledge.
BAD_Ruck (2:16PM): We’re talking proverbial ledge, right?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:16PM): Yes. Don’t worry, I’m not literally standing on the ledge of a skyscraper.
BAD_Ruck (2:16PM): That’s good news. So, tell me, why are we flirting with proverbial death?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:17PM): I’ve got a date tonight. I’m nervous. And freaking out. Big time.
BAD_Ruck (2:17PM): And here I thought I was the only man in your life. You wound me, Rose.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:18PM): Get over yourself. I would lay money on the fact that Mr. Charming himself has a date tonight too.
BAD_Ruck (2:18PM): Maybe.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:19PM): My point exactly. Now, help me out here.
BAD_Ruck (2:19PM): Okay. Let’s start with the obvious. Why are you nervous?
Why was I nervous? That was the big question. I stared across the aisle, watching an older woman working on a crossword. The tip of her pen ran across the empty blocks as she tried to think of a four-letter word for 15A. “_____ comes trouble!”
Here comes trouble. Apt phrase for my present state. My mind had been shouting this from the second I had agreed to a date with Kline.
God, I was definitely freaking out over a bunch of things, and one thing, in particular, stood out the most.
TAPRoseNEXT (2:20PM): For one, I work with him. If things end up badly, I’m worried it could cost me my job.
BAD_Ruck (2:20PM): Ah, the old coworker conundrum. Did he ask you out? Or did you ask him out? And is it forbidden in your employee contract?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:21PM): He asked me. And I have no earthly clue. Was that something I was supposed to actually read?
BAD_Ruck (2:21PM): Okay. Different tactic. Does he normally date women he works with?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:22PM): No, never. Either that or he’s a super sleuth about it. I’m not personally the office gossip, but I know someone with an ear to the ground.
BAD_Ruck (2:23PM): If he asked you out, and you’ve never seen him date any of your colleagues, he’s probably thought this through. How long have you worked with him?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:23PM): A couple of years.
BAD_Ruck (2:24PM): And in that time, has he ever seemed like the kind of man who lets his personal life affect business?
TAPRoseNEXT (2:25PM): Actually, no. Picture of professional. Business always comes first with him.