"Thank you, sir. One other thing, though. How many doors are there into this place?"
"Three," said Sir Reynold promptly. "But two are always locked." "But if the troll-"
"-or the dwarfs," said Nobby.
"Or, as my junior colleague points out, the dwarfs tried to get it out-"
"Gargoyles," said Sir Reynold proudly. "Two hwatch the main door constantleah from the building opposite, and there"s one each on the other doors. And there are staff on during the day, of course."
"This may sound a silly question, sir, but have you looked everywhere?"
"I"ve had the staff searching all morning, sergeant. It would be a very big and very heavy roll. This place is full of odd corners, but it would be very obvious.
Colon saluted. "Thank you, sir. We"ll just have a look around, if you don"t mind:
"Yes - for urns," said Nobby Nobbs.
Vimes eased himself into his chair and looked at the damned vampire. She could have passed for sixteen; it was certainly hard to believe that she was not a lot younger than Vimes. She had short hair, which Vimes had never seen on a vampire before, and looked, if not like a boy, then like a girl who wouldn"t mind passing for one.
"Sorry about the ... remark down there," he said. "It"s not been a good week and it"s getting worse by the hour."
"You don"t have to be frightened," said Sally. "If it"s any help, I don"t like this any more than you do."
"I am not frightened," said Vimes sharply.
"Sorry, Mister Vimes. You smell frightened. Not badly," Sally
added. "But just a bit. And your heart is beating faster. I am sorry if I have offended. I was just trying to put you at your ease."
Vimes leaned back. "Don"t try to put me at my ease, Miss von Humpeding," he said. "It makes me nervous when people do that. It"s not as though I have any ease to be put at. And do not comment on my smell either, thank you. Oh, and it"s Commander Vimes or sir, understand? Not Mister Vimes."
"And I would prefer to be called Sally" said the vampire.
They looked at each other, both aware that this was not going well, both uncertain that they could make it go any better.
"So ... Sally ... you want to be a copper?" said Vimes.
"A policeman? Yes."
"Any history of policing in your family?" said Vimes. It was a standard opening question. It always helped if they"d inherited some idea about coppering.
"No, just the throat-biting," said Sally.
There was another pause.
Vimes sighed.
"Look, I just want to know one thing," he said. "Did John Not-A-Vampire-At-All Smith and Doreen Winkings put you up to this?"
"No!" said Sally. "I approached them. And if it"s any help to you, I didn"t think there"d be all this fuss, either."
Vimes looked surprised.
"But you applied to join," he said.
"Yes, but I don"t see why there has to be all this ... interest!"
"Don"t blame me. That was your League of Temperance."