Memories she’d chased so vigilantly hurt. Even the beautiful ones stung because of all she’d lost.
Jacob stepped into the lobby, leaving Emily and Chase in the next room—silent—with the door open, waiting to make their statements when the police arrived. Dee didn’t care if Jacob pressed charges for her sake, but she didn’t blame him for drawing the line at stealing. Chase had been trusted here.
He tossed her a blue Air Force sweatshirt.
“Thank you.” At least she could quit worrying about clutching her buttonless blouse closed. Still she mourned the loss of her pretty flowered shirt, her first gift from Jacob.
As she tugged the sweatshirt over her head, Jacob’s scent, his warmth, enveloped her, tempting her to seek the real thing. She had to face the world on her own sometime. Dee whipped her hair free of neckline and took what consolation she could from the generous folds of cotton fleece.
Why wouldn’t he step away from the counter and sit by her, comfort her in that sturdy way of his? In a flash of insight she understood. Because he didn’t know her anymore. While she didn’t feel any different, Jacob saw a stranger.
It was a night full of losses. So she introduced herself to this man she’d known just under two weeks, a lifetime in itself for Dee Smith.
“My name is Deirdre Lambert. I’m from Reno, Nevada.” How strange to say that after not knowing so long. How could she ever have forgotten? She hadn’t. It had been stolen from her as surely as Chase had taken that money. As the man she’d married had stolen her child.
Humiliation swamped her as she forced herself to tell Jacob the rest. “The Mr. Smith who checked me in was my husband—”
Jacob’s fists clenched, the first visible reaction she’d seen from him since Chase had slapped the money on the counter. Could it be jealousy? What should have given her a tiny rush merely saddened her. They’d found the attraction tough enough before, and now her life had snarled into a bigger tangle.
“My ex-husband.” She threaded her fingers through her hair and mashed the heels of her hands against her temples. “Maybe I’d better back up. There are just so many images crowding my brain, so many thoughts and memories and moments to relive. I feel like I’m in sensory overload.”
Dee slumped back on the sofa. Still Jacob stood, unmoving. Maybe it was better they didn’t touch. She might shatter like a brittle icicle.
“Blane, my ex-husband, worked for a company that manufactured airplane parts.” She tucked her knees up under the overlong sweatshirt as if to insulate herself with Jacob’s innate strength. “His partner was convicted of knowingly selling substandard parts to companies under contract to build military aircraft. After coming across some papers in our old files, I started to suspect Blane might have been involved, too.”
Now she understood why she winced every time anything military crossed her path. She feared for the people who could be in danger. She couldn’t shake the shame over not having somehow known and stopped her husband.
Finally Jacob pushed away from the counter to sit beside her. “And that’s when you left him?”
“Actually we divorced a year ago.” Blane had been cheating on her with a woman at work.
Dee wondered now how she’d missed the signs for so long. She cringed to think of how she, too, had been caught up in the seeming security of materialism in those days. She wanted much simpler things for herself and her son now.
Jacob’s warm body waited inches away, but his gaze stayed focused on the picture of Mount Rainier over the fireplace. Not that she could accept any sympathy from him. He demanded such perfection from himself, how could he ever understand, much less condone how badly she’d screwed up?
“I found out he’d been cheating on me, not some fling even, but a long-term relationship.” So much for pride. Blane had trounced hers like grapes in a wine vat, and the product had been beyond bitter.
“I’m sorry.” Jacob transferred his gaze to his hands clasped loosely between his knees.
“Blane didn’t contest the divorce. I obviously didn’t mean that much to him, but he wanted sole custody of our son.”
Losing Evan was beyond bearing. She certainly understood that all too well. “I fought him and we ended up with shared custody. Once I found out about his illegal dealings, I got scared for Evan. I knew I didn’t have any choice but to go to the police. I was only a day away from turning him in.” She started shaking again. “Somehow he must have figured out—from my expression, or maybe I wasn’t as subtle in probing for information as I thought.”
Jacob’s face hardened. “He decided to shut you up.”
She nodded, still hardly able to grasp that he would hurt her deliberately. Believing he could be capable of stealing had torn a hole in her heart. Discovering he could actually try to kill her…She could still hardly grasp what had happened. The ultimate betrayal by a man she’d once thought she loved. “Blane came by my condo, calm as ever. He had something for Evan in the Suburban, a present for Evan’s fourth birthday since Blane would be traveling for work.”
Her mind flashed with so many kaleidoscope memories. Evan clutching his favorite blanket with quilted airplane squares, the edges now ragged. Blane’s earnest blue eyes, so like Evan’s.
How could the father of her precious baby boy be totally bad? Surely his love for Evan was one pure part left in Blane, a symbol of what had been good in their marriage. “A little voice deep inside me whispered that he was up to something, but Evan wanted his toy and Blane. I needed to believe there was something honest left inside him. Do you know what I mean?”
“Like wanting to believe Chase could be there for Emily.” Jacob’s eyes warmed as he finally seemed to see her. “Yeah, Dee…Deirdre. I understand.”
Deirdre. Not Dee.
Those last four inches might as well have been a mile. She wanted his arms around her as she shared the most painful part, his strong arms, rather than a sweatshirt substitute.
Damn her pride, she couldn’t make herself ask. “He forced me into the Suburban and started driving north, stopping here our first night on the road.” She shuddered to think of the red dress he’d made her wear in one of his twisted mind games. “We left early the next morning before dawn, and I was afraid he might make it to Canada. I tried to plan how to get help from the border patrol—then the snowstorm started and Blane made his move. He tossed me out of the car on an abandoned road.”