Her hunger was the one thing she could control in her life, but even that was dangerously close to snapping. She’d held it off for too long, and now it clawed at her with sharp talons, a beast gnashing at its leash.
If she needed a reminder of why relationships were impossible for her, this damned sure was it.
She was halfway across the foyer and headed for the front door when Tavia’s voice sounded from behind her. “Brynne. There you are.”
Given no choice, she pivoted to face her sister.
Tavia’s fine brows drew together over her shrewd light green eyes. “Were you able to get some rest this afternoon?”
“Um, rest?” Brynne felt her own frown crease her forehead, and at the same time a flush of heat threatened to fill her face. Oh, God. She would be mortified if her indiscretion with Zael was now public knowledge at the Order.
“I went to look for you after the meeting earlier today,” Tavia said. “Carys told me you’d gone up to your room. She thought you might need some undisturbed sleep after all you’ve been through these past couple of days.”
“Oh.” Brynne nodded, relief flooding her. “Yes, I did. Rest, I mean. Thank you.”
Tavia tilted her head. “Is everything okay? You don’t seem very rested. In fact, you look piqued.”
“I do?”
“Yes. You do.” She stared too long, too closely. “Brynne, when was the last time you fed?”
Shit. “Oh, I don’t know,” she hedged, forcing a level of nonchalance into her voice. “It’s been long enough, I suppose. I was actually just on my way out to take care of that now.”
“Alone?” Tavia’s hands went to her hips. “Things are too volatile out there, even in daylight hours. It’s nearly dusk, Brynne. At least wait until you can bring one of the warriors with you.”
“An Order escort to hold my hand while I feed?” Brynne hoped her dread didn’t show in her expression. “Please, tell me you’re joking.”
Feeding had gotten perfectly civilized—and carefully regulated—since the Breed was outed to their human neighbors twenty years ago. Where it used to be acceptable to tap any human’s vein for a few fresh red cells as long as the blood Host wasn’t harmed, now the business of feeding had become a polite, albeit paid, transaction between consenting parties.
That wasn’t to say all members of the Breed adhered to the law. Some preferred the old ways for the sport of it.
Others, like Brynne, had reasons of their own to avoid the carefully monitored environments of the blood Host parlors and clubs that catered to the Breed and their various appetites. Chief among those reasons, for her, being the fact that parlors prohibited mind-scrubs following a feeding. The law was meant to protect human Hosts from being used without their consent—something Brynne never did, no matter how savage her hunger.
No, while she preferred to obtain her Hosts from less stringent environments, the humans she paid to nourish her walked away from the transaction with no memory as a courtesy to them.
And, if she were being honest, as an act of self-preservation for her as well.
Brynne couldn’t use a Host in a monitored setting like a parlor. She certainly couldn’t do it with one of the Order’s warriors in tow.
“Even if I thought I needed an armed escort, Tavia, I doubt we’d find a reputable parlor that would even let me through the door in the company of one.”
Her sister wasn’t swayed. “You can go to the one in Georgetown that Carys used to visit when she came to D.C. before she was blood bonded with Rune. It’s the best in the city, and not only will they let you through the door with an Order escort, Lucan and Gabrielle’s son, Darion, keeps a VIP suite there that I’m sure you’ll be welcome to use.”
Brynne’s hopes sank in the face of this helpful, and undeterred, offer. “I don’t suppose you’re going to let me refuse?”
Tavia’s satisfied smile was answer enough. She looped her arm through Brynne’s, steering her away from the front door while Brynne’s hunger sank its talons deeper into the fraying fabric of her soul.
CHAPTER 17
Zael knew the instant Brynne had descended the stairs outside the mansion’s kitchen.
He’d been enjoying a conversation with Dylan and Rio, glad for the time to get to know both of them a bit. But the moment Brynne’s presence stirred the air, his attention went out the window and the only thing he could focus on was her.