“Aye, we had ranks,” he replied bitterly. “And some of the worse fools were placed above me, made generals even, solely on the basis of their birth. You needs must find a better argument than that, if you’re to convince me of the good in ranks.”
“Was my brother a bad soldier?” she asked stiffly.
He damned himself for a cad. God! How could he be so thoughtless? Naturally she would think of her brother first. “No. Captain St. Aubyn was one of the best officers I ever knew.”
Her head was down bent, her lips thinned. For such an argumentative woman, she could be very vulnerable sometimes. It hurt him, somewhere in his chest, to see her so. It was odd, her vitriolic tongue made him feel alive, made him want to seize her and kiss her until she moaned beneath his mouth. But when she revealed a rare weakness, she crushed him. Pray she only let show her vulnerability with him. He couldn’t stand the thought of another man seeing that part of her. He wanted to be the only one to protect that softness.
“And Jasper?” she asked now. “Was he a good officer as well? Somehow I cannot see him leading men. Playing cards and jesting with them, yes. Ordering them about, no.”
“Then perhaps you do not know your fiancé very well.”
Her head came up and she scowled at him. “I’ve known Jasper since I was in leading strings.”
He shrugged. “I don’t think you ever know a man until you see how he faces death.”
They’d come within sight of the picnic spot now. Lady Emeline looked over to where Jasper remained in the midst of a group of laughing gentlemen. He’d doffed his coat for some reason—most improperly—and stood gesturing in his waistcoat and shirtsleeves, long arms flapping in the air like a great gander. As they watched, another wave of laughter went through the group.
“Lord Vale was the most courageous man in battle I ever knew,” Sam said thoughtfully.
Lady Emeline turned to stare at him, her eyebrows raised.
He nodded. “I’ve seen him fall from a horse shot out from underneath him. Seen him get up bloodied and keep fighting, even when all around him were dying. He faced battle—faced death—as if he had no fear. Sometimes he smiled as he fought.”
She pursed her lips, watching Jasper caper about. “Maybe he didn’t have any fear.”
Sam slowly shook his head. “Only fools have no fear at all in battle, and Lord Vale is no fool.”
“Then he is an accomplished actor.”
“Perhaps.”
“Our rescuers!” Lady Hasselthorpe flew at them, her pale hands fluttering helplessly. “Oh, thank you, Mr. Hartley and Lady Emeline. You’ve saved my little alfresco party from disaster.”
Sam smiled and bowed.
“And you?” Lady Emeline asked quietly as their hostess flitted about, getting in the footmen’s way.
Sam glanced at her in question.
“How do you face death?” she clarified, her voice so low only he could hear.
He felt his face freeze. “As well as I might.”
She shook her head gently. “I think you must’ve been just as much a hero as Jasper in battle.”
He looked away. He could not meet her eyes. “There are no heroes on the battlefield, my lady; there are only survivors.”
“You’re modest—”
“No.” His voice was too intense, he knew. He was in danger of drawing attention. But he could not banter about this subject, of all things. “I am not a hero.”
“Emmie!” Lord Vale hailed them. “Come have some pigeon pie before it is all devoured. I have risked my very life to save you a slice or two. I fear the roast chicken is already disappeared.”
Sam nodded to Vale, but he leaned down and whispered in Lady Emeline’s ear before he led her there, because it was important she not have any illusions about him.
“Don’t ever think me a hero.”
Chapter Ten