With a shriek, Oak dashes over, clamoring up the saddlebags and onto my lap.
“Chase me!” he yells, out of breath, full of the wriggling ecstasy of childhood.
Even faeries are young once.
Impulsively, I hug him to my chest. He’s warm and smells of grass and deep woods. He lets me do it for a moment, small arms twining around my neck, small horned head butting against my chest. Then, laughing, he slides down and away, throwing a puckish glance back to see if I’ll follow.
Growing up here, in Faerie, will he learn to scorn mortals? When I am old and he is still young, will he scorn me, too? Will he become cruel like Cardan? Will he become brutal like Madoc?
I have no way of knowing.
I step off the toad, foot in the stirrup as I swing my body down. I pat just above her nose, and her golden eyes drift shut. In fact, she seems a little like she might be asleep until I yank on the reins, leading her back toward the stables.
“Hello,” Locke says, jogging up to me. “Now, where might you have gone off to?”
“None of your business,” I tell him, but I soften the words with a smile. I can’t help it.
“Ah! A lady of mystery. My very favorite kind.” He’s wearing a green doublet, with slits to show his silk shirt underneath. His fox eyes are alight. He looks like a faerie lover stepped out of a ballad, the kind where no good comes to the girl who runs away with him. “I hope you’ll consider returning to classes tomorrow,” he says.
Vivi continues to chase Oak, but Taryn has stopped near a large elm tree. She watches me with the same expression she had on the tournament field, as though if she concentrates hard enough, she can will me into not offending Locke.
“You mean so your friends know they haven’t chased me off?” I say. “Does it matter?”
He looks at me oddly. “You’re playing the great game of kings and princes, of queens and crowns, aren’t you? Of course it matters. Everything matters.”
I am not sure how to interpret his words. I didn’t think I was playing that kind of game at all. I thought I was playing the game of pissing off people who hated me already and eating the consequences.
“Come back. You and Taryn both should return. I told her so.” I turn my head, looking for my twin in the yard, but she is no longer by the elm. Vivi and Oak are disappearing over a hill. Perhaps she has gone with them.
We get to the stables, and I return the toad to her pen. I fill her water station from a barrel in the center of the room, and a fine mist appears, raining down on her soft skin. The horses nicker and stamp as we leave. Locke watches this all in silence.
“May I ask you something else?” Locke says, glancing in the direction of the manor.
I nod.
“Why haven’t you told your father what’s been happening?” Madoc’s stables are very impressive. Maybe standing in them, Locke was reminded of just how much power and influence the general has. But that doesn’t mean I am the inheritor of that power. Maybe Locke should also remember that I am merely one of the by-blow children of Madoc’s human wife. Without Madoc and his honor, no one would care about me.
“You mean so he can go stomping into our classes with a broadsword, killing everyone in sight?” I ask, instead of correcting Locke about my station in life.
Locke’s eyes widen. I guess that wasn’t what he meant. “I thought that your father would pull you out—and that if you didn’t tell him, it was because you wanted to stay.”
I give a short laugh. “That’s not what he’d do at all. Madoc is not a fan of surrender.”
In the cool dark of the stables, with the snorting of faerie horses all around us, he takes my hands. “Nothing there would be the same without you.”
Since I never intended to quit, it’s nice to have someone making all this effort to get me to do something I would have done anyway. And the way he’s looking at me, the intensity of it, is so nice that I am embarrassed. No one has ever looked at me this way.
I can feel the heat of my cheeks and wonder if the shadows help cover it up at all. Right then, I feel as though he sees everything—every hope of my heart, every stray thought I’ve had before falling into an exhausted sleep each dawn.
He brings one of my hands up to his mouth and presses his lips against my palm. My whole body tenses. I am suddenly too warm, too everything. His breath is a soft susurration against my skin.
With a gentle tug, he pulls me closer. His arm is around me. He leans in for a kiss and my thoughts slide away.
This can’t be happening.
“Jude?” I hear Taryn call uncertainly from nearby, and I stagger away from Locke. “Jude? Are you still in the stable?”
“Here,” I say, my face hot. We emerge into the night to find Oriana on the steps of the house, hauling Oak inside. Vivi is waving to him as he tries to squirm free from his mother’s grip. Taryn has her hands on her hips.
“Oriana has called everyone in to dinner,” Taryn informs us both grandly. “She wants Locke to stay and eat with us.”
He makes a bow. “You may inform your lady mother that though I am honored to be asked to her table, I would not so impose myself on her. I only wanted to speak with you both. I will, however, call again. You may be sure of that.”
“You talked to Jude about school?” There is trepidation in Taryn’s voice. I wonder what they spoke about before I returned. I wonder if he persuaded her to attend the lectures again, and if so, how he did it.
“Until tomorrow,” he says to us with a wink.
I watch him walk off, still overwhelmed. I don’t dare look at Taryn, for fear she will see all of it on my face, the whole day’s events, the almost kiss. I am not ready to talk, so I am the one who avoids her for once. Skipping up the steps with as much nonchalance as I can muster, I head to my room to change for dinner.
I forgot that I asked Madoc to teach me swordplay and strategy, but after dinner he gives me a stack of military history books from his personal library.
“When you’re done reading these, we will talk,” he informs me. “I will set you a series of challenges, and you will tell me how you might overcome them with the resources I give you.”
I think he expects me to object and insist on more swordplay, but I am too tired to even think of it.
Flopping down on my bed an hour later, I decide that I am not going to even take off the blue silk dress I am wearing. My hair is still disarranged, although I tried to improve it with a few pretty pins. I should take those out, at least, I tell myself, but I can’t seem to make any movement toward doing so.
My door opens, and Taryn comes in, hopping up onto my bed.
“Okay,” she says, poking me in the side. “What did Locke want? He said he had to talk to you.”
“He’s nice,” I say, rolling over and folding my arms behind my head, staring up at the folds of fabric gathered above me. “Not totally Cardan’s puppet like the rest of them.”
Taryn has an odd expression on her face, like she wants to contradict me but is holding herself back. “Whatever. Spill.”
“About Locke?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes. “About what happened with him and his friends.”
“They’re never going to respect me if I don’t fight back,” I tell her.
She sighs. “They’re never going to respect you, period.”
I think of crawling across the grass, my knees dirty, the savor of the fruit in my mouth. Even now I can taste the echo of it, the emptiness it would fill, the giddy, delirious joy it promises.
Taryn goes on. “You came home practically naked yesterday, smeared with faerie fruit. Isn’t that bad enough? Don’t you care?” Taryn has pulled her whole body back against one of the posts of my bed.
“I am tired of caring,” I say. “Why should I?”
“Because they could kill you!”
“They better,” I say to her. “Because anything less than that isn’t going to work.”
“Do you have a plan for stopping them?” she asks. “You said you were going to defy Cardan by being your awesome self and if he tried to take you down, you’d take him down with you. How are you going to manage that?”
“I don’t know exactly,” I admit.
She throws up her hands in frustration.
“No, look,” I say. “Every day that I don’t beg Cardan for forgiveness over a feud he started is a day I win. He can humiliate me, but every time he does and I don’t back down, he makes himself less powerful. After all, he’s throwing everything he’s got at someone as weak as I am and it’s not working. He’s going to take himself down.”
She sighs and comes over to me, laying her head against my chest, putting her arms around me. Against my shoulder she whispers, “He’s flint, you’re tinder.”
I hug her closer and make no promises.
We stay like that for a long moment.
“Did Locke threaten you?” she asks softly. “It was so odd that he came here looking for you, and then you had such a weird expression when I walked into the stables.”
“No, nothing bad,” I tell her. “I don’t know exactly what he came for, but he kissed my hand. It was nice, like out of a storybook.”
“Nice things don’t happen in storybooks,” Taryn says. “Or when they do happen, something bad happens next. Because otherwise the story would be boring, and no one would read it.”
It’s my turn to sigh. “I know it’s stupid, thinking well of one of Cardan’s friends, but he really did help me. He stood up to Cardan. But I’d rather talk about you. There’s someone, isn’t there? When you said you were going to fall in love, you were talking about someone in particular.”
Not that I’d be the first to green gown her.
“There’s a boy,” she says slowly. “He’s going to declare himself at Prince Dain’s coronation. He’s going to ask for my hand from Madoc, and then everything is going to change for me.”