My brows zip up my forehead. “Hold me up?”
She nods, cautious but hopeful. “I can take…other forms. Some fairly large, but none big enough to fly you home by myself.”
I try to play it off, but my shock—and apprehension—must show on my face.
“It’s not dangerous.” She rests a hand on my arm, her touch so real and human it’s hard to imagine her ever becoming anything else. “If I fly you home, we can stop outside the wards until one of the boys on lookout spots us and goes for help. Then your father will—”
“Bring a boat out to fetch me so the wards won’t do any damage,” I finish. It’s a good idea. “And then what? You change back when we see him coming?”
She nods. “I could manage it unseen. Dive under the water as a bird and come back up again as myself. But…” She trails off, her cheeks flushing pink again. “Well, I won’t be wearing any clothes. I can’t shift with clothes on. We’ll have to find some way to explain that when your da asks questions. And how you came to be delivered by bird, of course. Though I imagine he’ll be so happy to have you home he won’t press us too hard. At least, not at first.”
I nod a little too long, then clear my throat. “I could carry your dress for you. Try to help you into it. It won’t be easy in the water, but we might manage it.” The memory of nearly drowning on our first swim together overshadows the thought of her naked in the water—naked in a way that’s different now that I know her the way I do. “But you’re not a strong swimmer. We might have to concentrate on staying afloat, not getting dressed.”
Her lips part, but before she can speak, Adrina calls from the bottom of the hill. “Hello, you two! Are you all right?”
“We’re fine. Just got to jabbering.” I lean around Clara—Foxglove, hang it all—waving to Adrina. “Sorry about that. We’ll be down in a bit.”
Adrina’s gaze shifts curiously to Foxglove, who waves, too, her lips curving in a tight smile. “Yes, sorry. Tell Timon he can have my tart as an apology for making him wait.”
Adrina laughs. “No, I will not tell him that. He’s already bouncing off the rocks. Any more sweets and we’ll have to tie a rope around his waist to keep him out of trouble. But I will set out the bread, cheese, and olives. Come get some when you’re ready.”
She turns to pick her way back through the weather-worn ruins and Cl—Foxglove turns back to me. I confess with a shaky breath, “I keep calling you Clara in my head. It’s going to take some time for my brain to swap it out.”
Her lips twitch into a shy smile. “Or you could keep calling me Clara. I would like that. It’s been nice having a name I chose for myself.” Her smile fades. “A name that belongs to a girl who doesn’t hurt people.” She glances over her shoulder, adding in a softer voice, “What about Adrina and her family? I hate to leave them like this.”
“You can’t take it back?” I ask, already pretty sure of the answer.
She shakes her head. “No. The magic doesn’t work that way. It’s like a fire. You can’t turn the ash back into wood, no matter how hard you try.” She lifts tormented eyes to mine. “Do you still think I deserve forgiveness?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “But you might have to fight harder to convince yourself of it. That’s a heavy weight for a good person to bear.”
“You think I’m good?” The hitch in her voice hurts my heart.
“I do.” I cup her face in my hand. “The past is over. All that matters now is what you do in the future.”
“I’ll do good. Only good,” she says, her eyes shining again. “From now on, I swear it.”
But even as I assure her that I believe her, and that I’ll help her however I can, something in my mind whispers that goodness doesn’t work that way.
We all fall short. We all try and fail and have to get back up and try again.
But in Clara’s case, failure means devastation reaching far beyond herself. It means more minds ripped apart, more men sentenced to something worse than death with no way back to health or wholeness.
If Clara fails…and I’m the only one who knows about it…
What will I do if it comes to a choice between the lives of innocent strangers and the guilty person you love?
I have no idea. Good isn’t as clearly defined as it was yesterday.
And I don’t see that getting any clearer—or easier—in the days to come.
Chapter Seventeen
Clara
After lunch and a tour of the ruins, I make my way down the rocky path to the shore, leaving Declan to play hide-and-seek with Timon and Adrina.