Nice work? What the hell? But Eddie merely giggles.
“I had no idea you were boning my ex-girlfriend. Boo ya, big guy!”
I can hardly believe this is happening. I thought Eddie would be utterly enraged to find out that Jack and I are dating, much less that we were caught having sex in the foyer of their house. But instead, my ex is smirking, his baseball cap on at a jaunty angle over his head.
“You could use a bedroom, you know,” Denise snipes, looking down her nose at me. “Such a thing exists, believe it or not.”
“Mom, I…” I stammer, ready to explain.
She rolls her eyes. “I swear. It’s like you have a learning disability or something. Call me Denise.”
Jack intercedes then.
“What are you doing here, Denise? And you, Eddie?” Jack demands. By now, he’s dressed, albeit in a somewhat disheveled way. But his expression is stormy.
“Pops, I’m hurt.” Eddie clutches his chest, as I listen with bated breath. “Am I not allowed to bring my girl home with me now? I live here, or don’t you remember?”
“Denise Stanton is hardly a girl,” Jack says.
My mom huffs. “The same could be said of you, Jack Straithmore! It seems we’ve both discovered the joys of May December relationships. So what if I’m a cougar? Do you have a problem with that?”
This is all going by so fast, and I raise a hand, confused.
“So wait. You’re not mad about me and Jack?” I ask, looking between my mom and Eddie. “This is okay with you guys?”
“Why would I care who you’re sleeping with?” Denise sniffs. “I mean, no, I don’t love thinking about you naked, but I guess some guys can tolerate it.”
“Yeah,” Eddie chirps. “Who cares? I’ve got your mom here to keep me company at night. It’s fitting that you’re sleeping with my dad. We’re the perfect swingers, aren’t we?”
Oh ugh, that’s the most disgusting analogy ever, and evidently, my lover agrees.
“Watch it, son,” Jack warns.
Eddie holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m just trying to say no harm, no foul. You two are free to hook-up with whomever you want. You’re consenting adults, so why is it any skin off my nose?”
“Besides you’re doing me a favor,” my mom adds in a petulant tone. “You’re taking Dakota off my hands. I was wondering if she was ever going to move out.”
That makes Jack’s eyes gleam.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll do a swap. Eddie, leave your keys here, and I’ll get Dakota to give you her set. We’ll switch,” he says simply, as if this is a simple transaction. “Dakota will live here with me, and Eddie will move in with Denise. Simple as pie.” I stare at the handsome man. Is this really happening?
My ex-boyfriend merely sniggers before dropping his key on the entryway table.
“Sure,” he nods. “It’s a little crowded here now anyways. Besides, I like the mini-toaster at Denise’s house better. It can both bake and broil, did you know that? We have so much fun with it,” he whispers while nuzzling my mom’s ear.
Clearly, there are some things that I don’t know and don’t want to know about this strange couple. I merely try to pull myself together while standing up.
“Well, it was nice to see you,” I say in as normal of a voice I can muster. “I’m sorry you guys caught us this way, but I’m glad we got everything sorted out. But call first next time, okay?”
I can hardly believe I’m saying these words, but Denise and Eddie merely stroll out the door, without even bothering to wave.
“Later gators,” Eddie smirks before the door shuts. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
What does that even mean? Is he mixing up his sayings? But it doesn’t matter anymore because I stare at Jack, my gaze bewildered.
“Did that really just happen?” I ask in a halting voice. “Did Eddie and Denise just give us their blessing?”
Jack lets out a strangled chuckle.
“I think it’s as much of a blessing as you’re going to get from those two, so yes,” he says. “I think we’re free and clear.”
I stare at him, my heart going at sixty miles an hour.
“And did you mean what you just said?” I whisper. “You want me and the baby to live here with you?”
He smiles with understanding and drops a soft kiss on my nose.
“I would have moved you in here the very first time we made love if I knew you were getting pregnant.”
“Oh, you crazy man,” I say smiling. “I couldn’t be happier. I love you so much, Jack.”
Leaning in, I feel him smiling against my lips. “I love you, too. Now,” he stands, lifting me into his arms as I shriek and start laughing. “Let’s take this to our bedroom so we can finish where we left off.”
My heart pounds.
“Our bedroom?”
“Yes. My bedroom is our bedroom now, sweetheart.”