I close my eyes and think about Solon. I think about all the skulls he keeps, the reminders of what he is. How he needs to feel that remorse and guilt and shame in order to keep himself in check, no matter how awful it makes him feel. It would be so much easier for him to not feel anything at all. And yet he chooses that pain, because it keeps him human—even though he’s not.
“Solon hates me,” I blurt out suddenly, another tear rolling down my cheek.
“Hates you?” my mother repeats. “What makes you say that?”
“Because,” I tell her, wiping the tear away angrily, “I did what I did. He warned me. He told me I shouldn’t be out in public, that I might need to feed, and I thought I was fine. I didn’t listen. And then I did something so stupid, putting us both at risk, and I made him make the choice to kill him. I know he didn’t want to. He has a conscious and a heart, I know it. And then I drank Matt’s blood and…”
They both fall silent for a beat.
“I see,” my mother eventually says. “I’m guessing he’s your typical vampire then, as territorial as they come.”
“And yet he’s not typical at all. He’s…”
He’s unlike the rest of them, unlike any other creature on this planet.
He’s everything to me.
“Does he love you?” my father asks me.
I nearly gasp at the idea.
I press my lips together, my chest growing tight. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I know he was in love once and…I think he’s doing everything he can to not go down that path again. Like he’s turned that part of him off. His heart…I think he prefers it cold.”
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you,” my mother says softly, brushing my hair off my face. “Listen, I hate the idea of him having feelings for you, Lenore, but he does. I may not know him well enough to know what feelings those are exactly, but they are there. I saw them. And they go farther than just being an obsessive and controlling vampire. It’s deeper than that. If it’s not love, maybe it will be. Maybe he’s capable—and willing—of that.”
I give her a wry look. “Almost sounds like you want that to happen.”
She makes a face. “I know what it sounds like, believe me. But at the same time, it would be better if he loved you. I’d sleep easier at night.”
I would too.
“Did you know Solon had been watching me my whole life?” I ask quietly.
My parents exchange a glance. My mother nods. “Yes. We did.”
“We didn’t know for sure at first,” my father adds, clasping his hands together. “We thought perhaps he was watching the two of us. He knew what we did was unsanctioned, and even though we granted him clemency, we didn’t trust him not to report us. Or kill us. Hand us over to the vampires. He’s so duplicitous, you can’t predict what he’s going to do.”
“But then, after a while,” my mother goes on, “we realized he wasn’t watching us in order to harm us or turn us in. He was watching over you. He was curious, that much we could tell. We figured he knew you were Alice and Hakan’s, so we thought maybe he’d try and take you from us, but he never did. He kept his distance, though we knew he was just biding his time.”
“You know he was human once,” I tell them.
“Yes,” my father says. “Son of Skarde. There are many legends about him.”
Legends about Solon? How I would love to hear them all.
I glance at my mother. “Why did you think he’d use me to try and take down his father?”
She shrugs. “Just a theory. We knew he was Skarde’s first made, we knew that there’d been a falling out, that they became enemies. When he took you, I figured he took you because he saw the power you had inside you, that you were half-witch. Then when I learned you were the daughter of Jeremias, then I thought it might be true.”
“So you think he had been watching over me because he wanted me for some underground army?”
“I don’t know anymore,” she says with a sigh, “I really don’t. He seemed adamant that wasn’t the case, and now I’m inclined to believe him. What do you believe?”
I reach for my necklace, feeling the ruby between my fingers, disappointed at how cold the stone is. “I think it’s crossed his mind. I think that’s probably why he took me. But I also know he won’t ever put me in harm’s way. He does want me to develop my magic, I know that much. But it’s been tough going.” I glance at my mom, then my dad. “Though you could teach me.”