I can picture it all too clearly. Even as part of me cries that I’ll never have a normal life, that that’s the most unbelievable thing about this conversation, I willingly walk down this fantasy road with him. “Why stop there?” I roll my hips again, relishing the sting of his jeans against my ass, the promise of his hard cock right there. “Why be satisfied with a video? Maybe my pussy will always be yours on my birthday.”
His hand trembles against my throat, but he doesn’t otherwise move. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Except that’s exactly what I want to do. My nerves feel over-sensitized and I’m breathing hard. I take the hand not around my throat and guide him to press it back between my thighs. “You’ve earned it, don’t you think? So many years of restraint.” He allows me to mold his hand, to push two fingers into me. “One night isn’t enough to make up for all that. One night a year is still hardly enough.”
“You want to meet me in a hotel bar, slip me your key, and come up here to do all the filthy things your partner wouldn’t dream of? You don’t have to be respectable with me, Hazel. I know what you really want. What you really are.” His lips brush my ear. “While your partner is at home, sleeping in the bed you two share, you’ll be here, riding my cock and my mouth and my fingers. Over and over, until you feel like yourself again. Until you can go back to pretending for another long year.”
The fantasy hurts and it turns me on, and I don’t know if I want to tell him he’s an asshole or beg him to make it reality.
“No time like the present to start.” Devan shifts his grip on me and then he’s pushing to his feet, easily carrying me to the bed. He sets me down on it with more gentleness than I want, and immediately makes it better by winding my hair around his fist and using the hold to tilt my head back. His gaze snags on my mouth. “Hardly know where to start,” he murmurs, and I get the impression that he’s talking to himself.
“Getting naked sounds like a great plan from where I’m sitting.”
“No.” A sharp shake of his head. “Don’t rush me.”
“Devan—”
He tugs on my hair, just hard enough to hurt. “If you won’t keep that mouth respectful, I guess I’ll just have to teach it a lesson.”
Eagerness has me clenching my thighs together. “Oh no,” I say drily. “Not that.”
Chapter 7
Devan tugs on my hair again. “I should ask you if you’re dating someone, but I’ll be honest—I really don’t give a fuck. You’re mine tonight. Say it, Hazel.”
I’m not dating anyone. I’m never dating anyone, not in recent years. The people I meet these days who want to seduce or create some kind of relationship aren’t interested in seeing beneath the perfectly polished surface. They don’t want the ugly bits, the jagged pieces snapped off from the puzzle of the girl I no longer add up to. Devan doesn’t want me in any permanent way, and he’s already seen me at my worst. The freedom of that knowledge makes me a little giddy. “I’m yours tonight.”
“I know.” He considers me. “Well, birthday girl. Let’s put that disobedient mouth to good use.”
I reach for the front of his jeans with shaking hands. I don’t think I’ve stopped shaking since he showed up tonight. Desire is a heady thing, and my desire for Devan seems bottomless. Even more so now that I’m dragging down his zipper and working his jeans over his hips. I start to push them down further, but he shakes his head. “That’s good enough.”
His insistence that we remain as clothed as possible is making me restless. I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. When’s the last time I was denied something I wanted? I can’t remember. Oh, there are things that will never be mine again, but these days, if I want it, it’s there for the taking.
Except this man.
I just want us both to strip down and to have as much of my skin pressed up against as much of his skin as possible. I wouldn’t have thought I was touch-starved, but that’s what this feels like. A growing frenzy that Devan keeps intentionally ignoring.
Then nothing else matters because I free his cock and it’s right there. Just as thick and perfect as the man himself. Big enough that a little tremor of foreboding goes through me. Maybe this extended foreplay isn’t a bad thing, because I’ve never been with anyone this size before. Not even the CEO with the array of rainbow-colored strap-ons. Her largest size was smaller Devan.