Maybe I could’ve stopped you from becoming a sinner.
Amelia
Present
Hate.
It’s such a simple word, but it really isn’t enough to describe the mountain of emotions flooding my veins.
I thought I knew what it meant.
That I felt it deep in my bones for this woman who so happily kissed and fucked my boyfriend in my own house.
But to hear her say those words, those awful, mind-numbing words, unravel me.
Something inside me clicks into place. Something I’ve been feeling for so long but couldn’t quite put into words.
And the fear rippling over my back turns to shock while my whole body is beginning to shake irrationally.
I knew. Even before she said it, I knew somewhere deep down that this was the all-encompassing truth. The truth Eli tried so hard to keep hidden from me. The truth that would lay bare his gravest sin.
He was the catalyst. The reason for Chris to cheat … and why I lost myself and killed him.
My lip quivers as I turn slowly, shuddering at the mere thought of having to look him in the eye and ask him if it’s true. But when our eyes connect, the pure misery deep within his stops me from having to ask anymore.
“It’s true,” I murmur, tears welling up in my eyes.
Eli’s hands tighten into fists as his hooded eyes darken and almost seem to disappear behind a swathe of hair falling down. I thought I had felt the worst emotion there was. That I hated him more than anything, and that was it. But this? The fact that he can’t even look at me? That’s even worse.
“This is what you were trying to hide from me,” I say through gritted teeth, pointing at Tiffany, who is still lying there tied to the bed like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
“I wasn’t trying to hide it,” he says, his fists still clenched. He gazes up at me for a brief second. “It’s why I brought you here.”
“Oh, so she could tell me what you did instead of it coming from your own mouth?” I bark.
“You wanted the truth,” he says with pain in his eyes. “Now you know.”
I shake my head, desperate to keep the tears at bay. “I can’t believe this.”
I march off, past him, and up the stairs. I don’t want to stay for another second.
However, Eli comes rushing after me.
“Amelia, wait!” he says.
“No!” I yell back, running up the stairs to the comfort of the light coming from the ceiling. I know I’m still locked in here, but anything is better than that dark, damp hell down there.
“I know I did something unforgivable,” Eli says.
“You know what I did!” I scream, unable to keep myself from spinning on my heels to throw him a deadly glare. “I killed him.”
My words echo through these halls, but I’m no longer ashamed of them. I know what I’ve done. I’ve come to terms with that fact, and I’ve atoned for my sins.
But he hasn’t.
I can’t help but march straight to him and shove my fingers into his chest. “Because of what you did.”
He grabs my finger but keeps it there, pointed at his chest. “I did not make you kill him. But I am a monster. I know that.”
Rage becomes me as my teeth clench together, and the world turns red in front of my eyes.
And I slap him. Hard.
It doesn’t register until the sting of my hands shows on his skin.
I stare for a moment as he brings his free hand to his cheek and touches the spot. My finger inches back from his chest as my whole body drifts away.
“I …” I mutter, unable to put into words what I feel.
I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry, and for that, I’m not sorry either. It’s too confusing, too fucked up.
“I deserved that,” he says, as though he wants to make it easy on me.
I feel like a snake right now, wishing I could bite him and fill him with the poison he made me endure. “Yes, you did. You don’t even deny doing what she said.”
“There’s no point,” he replies.
“So it’s the truth,” I say. It’s not a question, again. “You hired her to fuck Chris.”
He clutches the stair railing, squeezing the wood so tight I swear it’s going to crack. “Yes.”
It hurts so much. It hurts beyond imagination. So much that I didn’t see the pain coming until it was too late.
“How could you?” I whisper, saying words I wished I never had to say out loud. “Why?”
His face contorts, his jaw clenching almost as hard as his fists around the wood, the look in his eyes almost too painful to bear. Like he’s torn in two. “Out of greed. Because I was selfish. Because I wanted you … all to myself.”
My heart aches so badly right now. Why? I don’t understand.