Yes, emotional distress.
The dreaded E-word—the word he’d been trying to escape from for the last few weeks. Maybe he’d been trying to escape it for the last seven years. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jaz. He couldn’t get the taste of her out of his mouth. He couldn’t get the feel of her out of his body. It had been nothing short of torture to drop in the business plan for her last week and not touch her. She had seemed a little distracted, but when she told him she’d employed Emma Madden to help in the shop after school he’d put it down to that—Jaz was worried he would have a problem with it. He didn’t. He thought it was a stroke of genius, actually. He wished he’d thought of it himself.
Julius came over with a basket of crisps. ‘He’s off his food, his drink and his game,’ he said to Flynn. ‘He hasn’t looked twice at any of the waitresses, even the blonde one with the big boobs.’
Flynn grinned. ‘No kidding?’
‘I reckon it’s because he’s in love with Jaz,’ Julius said. ‘But he’s too stubborn to admit it.’
Jake glowered at his twin. ‘Just because you’re getting married tomorrow doesn’t mean everyone else wants to do the same.’
‘Mum’s still not speaking to him,’ Julius said to Flynn. ‘She quite fancied having Jaz as a daughter-in-law.’
‘Pity she isn’t so keen on having Kat Winwood as a daughter,’ Flynn said wryly.
‘So, how’s all that going with you and Kat?’ Jake said, desperate for a subject change. ‘You convinced her to come to Dad’s Sixty Years in Showbiz party yet?’
‘Not so far but I’m working on it,’ Flynn said with an enigmatic smile.
‘Better get your skates on, mate,’ Julius said. ‘You’ve only got a month and a bit. The party’s in January.’
‘Leave Kat Winwood to me,’ Flynn said. ‘I know how to handle a feisty Scotswoman.’
‘I bet you’ve handled a few in your time,’ Jake said.
‘You can talk,’ Flynn said with another grin. ‘How come you haven’t handled anyone since Jaz?’
Good question. Why hadn’t he? Because he couldn’t bear to wipe out the memory of her touch with someone else. He didn’t want anyone else. But Jaz wanted marriage and kids. He had never seen himself as a dad. He had always found it so...terrifying to be responsible for someone else. He was better off alone. Single and loving it, that was his credo.
Jake put his untouched beer bottle down. ‘Excuse me,’ he said. ‘I’m going to have an early night. See you lot in church.’
* * *
‘You look amazing, Holly,’ Jaz said outside the church just before they were to enter for Julius and Holly’s wedding. ‘Doesn’t she, Miranda?’
Miranda was wiping at her eyes with a tissue. ‘Capital A amazing. Gosh, I’ve got to get control of myself. My make-up is running. If I’m like this as a bridesmaid, what I am going to be like as a bride?’
Holly smiled at both of them. She was a radiant bride, no two ways about that. But happiness did that to you, Jaz thought. There could be no happier couple than Julius and Holly... Well, there was Miranda and Leandro, who were also nauseatingly happy. It was downright painful to be surrounded by so many blissfully happy people.
But Jaz was resolved. She wasn’t settling for anything but the real deal. Love without limits. That was what she wanted. Love that would last a lifetime.
Love that was authentic and real, not pretend.
As Jaz led the way down the aisle she saw Jake standing next to Julius. It was surreal to see them both dressed in tuxedos looking exactly the same. No one could tell them apart, except for the way Julius was looking at Holly coming behind Miranda. Had a man ever looked at a woman with such love? Yes, Jaz thought when she caught a glimpse of Leandro, who was standing next to Jake looking at Miranda as if she was the most adorable girl in the world. Which she was, but that was beside the point. It was so hard not to be jealous.
Why couldn’t Jake look at her like that?
Jaz caught his eye. He was looking a little green about the gills. Her own stomach lurched. Her heart contracted. Had he hooked up with someone last night after Julius’s stag night? Had he had a one-nighter with someone? Several someones? She hadn’t heard anything much in the press about him since they had announced they’d ended their ‘engagement’. But then she had been far too busy with getting Holly’s dress done on time to be reading gossip columns.
Miranda had let slip that Jake had left the stag night early. Did that mean he had hooked up with someone? One of the barmaids at the wine bar the boys had gone to? Why else would he leave early? He was the party boy who was usually the last man standing. It didn’t bear thinking about. It would only make the knot of jealousy tighten even more in the pit of her stomach. She had to put a brave face on. She couldn’t let her feelings about Jake interfere with Julius and Holly’s big day.