“That one is… it’s the most ridiculous and obnoxious toy ever. We were just getting ready to order something for dinner. Would you like to eat with us?” Luna is sitting on the floor with us, wearing the same thing she was earlier, looking so much the same like she did during our time nearly two years ago.
“I’d like that.” There’s so much left unsaid between us, but I’ll take this olive branch because believe me, I’m pissed as hell she left when it was understood I’d be back after getting a session in.
“Let me go grab my phone. I’m not sure what you’re in the mood for?” Luna asks.
“I’m not picky. Here, use my phone. The card is saved on the app. The code is two-zero-one-nine.” Luna’s hand is outstretched to take my phone from me when I see her fingers tremble. Yeah, it seems I wasn’t the only that held a lasting impression.
“I’ll...uh, pay for our portion.”
“Not worried about it, Luna. I’ll eat whatever you’re having.” Sailor comes crawling back to me, dragging his stuffed dog in his hand. I watch as he gets closer and closer, drops the toy, and stands up. Christ, I’ve missed out on so much, but I’ll be damned if I miss out on anything else.
“Really? Do you mean to tell me you’ll eat fried chicken liver?” She’s trying to keep from laughing, but I can see she’s bluffing.
“I’ve had it before. It’s not my favorite, but if you like it, I’m game.” I shrug my shoulders, my eyes going between Sailor and his mom.
“I’m just kidding. That wasn’t much fun. I figured it’d ruffle your feathers somewhat. I’m just ordering food from the diner down the road. Sailor loves their baked potato. They doctor it up with cauliflower and broccoli, mashing it all together.” I can see that Luna is nervous as she talks, but I also think this is her way of letting me know things that matter to him.
“No kidding. I had no idea they’d do that.” I hold my hands out to Sailor. He doesn’t take any steps, just stands there.
“It won’t be long, and he’ll be taking steps. I’ll have to re-baby proof the house all over again. I’m getting the meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and broccoli dinner. Is that okay with you?” Her head is lowered as she’s putting in the order.
I stew on that. He’ll be walking soon. “Mierda,” I mumble beneath my breath.
“I promise we’ll talk, but not while he’s awake, please?” Luna looks up at me. Apparently, me cussing didn’t go unnoticed. I nod my head in response and then go back to soaking in every minute I can with Sailor.
8
Luna
Dinner was interesting to say the least. We were both quiet, our attention solely focused on Sailor or our food. I heard what he said when I opened the door. He was shocked, rightfully so. I mean, it probably didn’t help how I ran out on him in the restaurant. Clearly, Cruz was able to find me within hours. It makes me wonder what really happened that morning after our night together.
When we were all done eating, Sailor making a mess of himself, we picked up our plates. Cruz was with us every step of the way—during bath time and even when it came to rocking him to sleep. That was hard to give up. I’m not going to lie. That’s been our thing, our time together when there are days I have to be at the shop early and can’t wake up with him or those two days a week I close the shop. The way those two seemed to bond in a few hours’ time, it was unreal. Of course, it didn’t hurt to look at either. Cruz with his firm body, tattoos covering his arms, cotton shirt, and shorts. He took to being a father to Sailor so seamlessly, I was jealous. There, I said it, I was jealous because it wasn’t easy for me. Of course, the situation was different—leaking breast milk, sleep deprived, and still trying to do it all on my own because I was too stubborn to ask my parents or brother for help. That was my downfall. Once I got the hang of things, it got better. That’s not to say I didn’t call my mom in the middle of the night crying when Sailor was six weeks old. I kid you not, my son tried to drain me dry that night. I finally gave up and supplemented that night, and he slept. I slept too, and it was bliss, but from that point on, I pumped my breast milk and gave formula when need be. I also broke down and let him use a pacifier. I’m not sure what I was thinking, that whole new mom thing, trying to be perfect, it hit me hard.