Had she ever experienced sexual attraction like this before? If so, she couldn’t remember it, and nor could her body. It was as if she were experiencing desire for the very first time. Never before had her body felt so in tune with a man’s touch. She had never felt a need so strong she couldn’t find an excuse to delay its satiation. She softened against him like molten wax against a source of heat, her legs entwining with his.
Male against female, light against dark. It was a potent mix of hormones and needs that swirled and simmered in the water that enveloped them.
She wanted more.
She wanted to feel his hands and mouth on her breasts. She was so out of practice she didn’t know how to communicate her need. She made a little mewling sound against his lips, pressing closer; conscious he was only supporting himself with his one good arm.
He kissed her again, slowly first, and then deeply and passionately. She tasted the need that was thundering through his body. It called to everything that was female in her. She kissed him back with such fervour it made her heart race to think he wanted her even half as much as she wanted him.
Somehow they got to the steps so he could sit and she could stand between his open thighs. He cupped her breast with a gentle hand, his thumb rolling over the pebbled nipple as his mouth savoured hers in little nips, sucks and licks that thrilled her senses. Whatever fear or trepidation she had felt had completely dissipated. All she could feel was the desire for completion. It was a bone-deep ache that made her blood hum inside the circuitry of her veins.
He lifted his mouth just a fraction off hers, his voice low, deep and sexy. ‘I want to make love to you.’
Lily suddenly realised the implications of what she was doing. Where was her professionalism? Where was her self-control? What was she thinking, kissing Raoul Caffarelli as if her life depended on it? She wasn’t the type of girl to have a fling. She didn’t know how to be casual about sex; she didn’t want to be casual about it. It went against everything she had learned over the years.
She pulled back out of his embrace, her gaze shifting away from his. ‘I’m sorry...I’m not ready for this. I shouldn’t have given you the impression I was...um...interested. I’m not normally so...so forward.’
‘You don’t have to apologise.’
She met his gaze again. ‘You’re not...angry?’
‘Why would I be angry?’
‘You said you wanted to make love...’
‘I did. I do. But that doesn’t mean I have to do so right this very minute. I might be pretty stubborn and determined in other areas of my life, but I would never force a woman to have sex with me against her will. It’s not what a man with any decency does.’
Lily chewed at her lower lip, struck by how calm and in control he was. There was no sign of anger or resentment or any look that said ‘how could you do this to me?’. No pushing or shoving, no gripping or grabbing and insisting on having his needs met.
Just respect and quiet calm.
Emotions she thought she had safely locked behind the do-not-open-again door in her mind suddenly sprang out of their confinement like a jack-in-the-box let loose. Tears she had sworn she would never shed again sprouted in her eyes. She choked back a sob and buried her head in her hands.
‘Hey...’ His gentle tone made her cry all the harder.
‘I’m sorry.’ She brushed at her streaming eyes with the back of her hand. ‘You must think I’m a fool.’
‘I don’t think that at all.’
She took a shaky breath and tried to get her emotions back under control. ‘You’re the first man I’ve kissed in years. I never thought I’d ever want to get close to a man again. I deliberately didn’t get close...until now.’
‘You were...raped?’ His tone was full of indignation, which she found strangely comforting.
‘Yes.’
A muscle flicked in his jaw as if he was having trouble containing his outrage at the treatment she had been subjected to. ‘Was the man arrested and charged?’
She shook her head. ‘I didn’t report it.’
His frown was so deep it created a V on his forehead. ‘But what if he did it to some other girl?’
Lily crossed her arms over her body. ‘I thought about that. A lot. But it was complicated.’
‘That lowlife creep should be brought to justice. It’s not too late. I can get you a good lawyer. It’s not too late to file a charge. I know retrospective cases are much harder to prove but it would be worth it to have your day in court, even if it’s only to name and shame him.’