“I felt I couldn't fail her in death as I had in life.”
“Oh, Blake. You've never failed anyone.” She touched his arm. “Someday you'll have to realize that.”
“I know.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I've always known that, deep down. She was so headstrong. I couldn't have stopped her.”
“Then why are you so determined to be unhappy?”
“It isn't about Marabelle any longer. It's me.”
“I don't understand.”
“Somewhere along the way I lost something inside. I don't know whether it was the grief or the bitterness, but I just stopped caring.”
“That's not true. I know you better than you think.”
“Caroline, I feel nothing!” he burst out. “Nothing deep and meaningful, at least. Don't you see that I'm dead inside?”
She shook her head. “Don't say that. It's not true.”
He grasped her shoulder with startling urgency. “It is true. And you deserve more than I can give you.”
She stared at his hand. “You don't know what you're saying,” she whispered.
“The hell I don't.” He wrenched himself away from her and stood, his posture bleak as he stared at the surf. After a moment of silence he said, “James has said he will marry you.”
“I see.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
She let out an impatient exhale. “What do you want me to say, Blake? Tell me, and I'll say it. But I don't know what you want. I don't even know what I want anymore.” She buried her face in her knees. That was a lie. She knew exactly what she wanted, and he was standing next to her, telling her to marry another man.
She wasn't surprised, but she hadn't expected it to hurt so much.
“He'll take care of you,” Blake said in a low voice.
“I'm sure he will.”
“Will you accept?”
She looked up sharply. “Do you care?”
“How can you ask that?”
“I thought you didn't feel. I thought you didn't care about anything.”
“Caroline, I do care about your future. I just can't be what you need in a husband.”
“That's an excuse.” She stood, her posture militant. “You're nothing but a coward, Blake Ravenscroft.”
She started to walk away, but her feet sank in the sand, and he was able to catch up with her quickly. “Don't touch me!” she yelled when his hand closed around her arm. “Leave me alone.”
He didn't let go. “I want you to accept Riverdale's proposal.”
“You have no right to tell me what to do.”
“I know that. But I'm asking nonetheless.”
Caroline let her head fall back. Her breath came in short, shallow pants, and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment against the emotions colliding in her mind. “Go away,” she finally managed to say.