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“I’m trying.” Charmain set herself to shunting along the roof, until she was only a foot or so away from the child. “So what are we supposed to be talking about?” she snapped into his face.

“Withard Norland firtht,” Twinkle said. “They tell me you know him.”

“Not really,” Charmain said. “He’s my great-aunt-by-marriage’s great-uncle. I’m keeping house for him while he’s ill.” She did not feel like mentioning Peter.

“And what ith hith houthe like?” Twinkle asked. He added chattily, “I live in a moving cathtle mythelf. Doeth Norland’th houthe move?”

“No,” said Charmain. “But there’s a door in the middle that takes you to about a hundred different rooms. They say Wizard Melicot made it.”

“Ah. Melicot,” Twinkle piped. He seemed very pleased. “Then I’ll probably need to come and thee it, whatever Calthifer thayth. Ith that all right?”

“I suppose so,” Charmain said. “Why?”

“Becauthe,” Twinkle explained, “Thophie, Calthifer, and I have been hired to find out what became of the gold in the King’th treathury. At leatht, we fink that’th what they’re wanting, but they’re not being very clear. Half the time, they theem to be thaying that what they’ve lotht ith thomething called the Elfgift and nobody knowth what thith Elfgift ith. And the Printheth has athked Thophie to find out what keepth happening to the money from the taxeth. And that theemth to be thomething different again. They’ve thold a lot of pictureth and other thingth and they’re thtill ath poor ath church mithe—you mutht have notithed.”

Charmain nodded. “I noticed. Couldn’t they ask for more taxes?”

“Or thell thome of their library,” Twinkle suggested. He shrugged. This made him sway about so precariously that Charmain shut her eyes. “Calthifer nearly got ordered to leave latht night when he thuggethted thelling thome bookth. And ath for taxeth, the King thayth High Norland people are well off and contented, and any extra tax money would probably jutht dithappear too. Tho that’th no good. What I want you to do—”

There was a shout down in the distance. Charmain opened her eyes and looked sideways. Quite a number of people had gathered in the square, all shading their eyes and pointing to the roof. “Hurry up,” she said. “They’ll be calling out the Fire Brigade any minute now.”

“Do they have one?” Twinkle asked. “There’th thivilithed you are here.” He smiled another of his blazing smiles. “What we need you to do—”

“Are you two quite happy out here?” a voice asked close behind Charmain. It was so near and so sudden that Charmain jumped and all but overbalanced.

“Watch it, Thophie!” Twinkle said urgently. “You nearly had her off then.”

“That just goes to show what a harebrained scheme this was, even for you,” Sophie said. By the sound, she was leaning out of the wooden door, but Charmain did not dare turn round to look.

“Have you done the magic I gave you?” Twinkle asked, leaning sideways to talk round Charmain.

“Yes, I have,” Sophie said. “Everyone’s running around the Mansion fussing, Calcifer’s trying to stop that silly nursemaid having hysterics, and someone outside has just called the firemen in. I managed to slip into the library with your spell in the confusion. Satisfied?”

“Perfectly.” Twinkle gave another angelic smile. “You thee how cunning my plan wath now.” He leaned toward Charmain. “What I’ve done,” he said to her, “ith to catht a thpell that maketh every book or piethe of paper that hath the thlightetht bearing on the King’th problemth light up with a light that only you can thee. When you thpot a lighted one, I want you to make a note of which it ith and what it thayth. Thecretly, of courthe. Thomething’th definitely wrong here, and we don’t want anyone to know what you’re doing, in cathe it getth to the perthon cauthing the trouble. Can you do that for uth?”

“I suppose so,” said Charmain. It sounded easy enough, although she did not like the idea of keeping secrets from the King. “When do you want my notes?”

“Tonight, please, before that princely heir gets here,” Sophie said from behind Charmain. “There’s no need to get him mixed up in this. And we’re very grateful and it truly is important. It’s the reason why we’re here. Now for goodness’ sake come inside, both of you, before they start putting up ladders.”

“All right,” Twinkle piped. “Here we go. I may arrive in two halveth, mind you.”

“Serve you right,” said Sophie.

The roof started to buck and ripple under Charmain. She nearly screamed. But she clung on with both hands, reminding herself that she really could fly. Couldn’t she? And the roof jiggled and rippled her backward toward the way she had come out, while, in front of her, Twinkle jiggled onward too. In moments, Charmain felt Sophie take hold of her under her armpits and lug her backward, with a bit of a scramble, inside the Royal Mansion again. Sophie then leaned out and seized Twinkle and dumped him down beside Charmain.

Twinkle looked soulfully up at Charmain. “Back to infanthy again,” he said, sighing. “You won’t give me away, will you?”

“Oh, cut out the nonsense,” Sophie said. “Charmain’s all right.” She said to Charmain, “His name’s Howl, really, and he’s enjoying himself quite disgustingly much, having his second childhood. Come along, my little man.” She swept Twinkle up under one arm and carried him away down the stairs. There was a lot of kicking and screaming.

Charmain followed them, shaking her head.

On the main landing halfway down, everyone in the Mansion seemed to be gathered—including a number of people Charmain had not seen before—with Calcifer bobbing this way and that among them. Even the King was there, carrying Waif in an absent-minded way. Princess Hilda pushed aside a fat young woman, who was holding Morgan and sobbing, and shook Charmain’s hand.

“My dear Miss Charming, thank you so very much. We were in such a panic. Sim, go and tell the firemen we don’t need the ladders and we certainly don’t need the hoses.”

Charmain could hardly hear her. Waif had seen Charmain, and she promptly leaped from the King’s arms, yapping with hysterical relief that Charmain was safe. From somewhere in the background Jamal’s dog answered with mournful howlings. The fat nursemaid went “Sniff…hooh!” Morgan bellowed, “Oof! Oof!” and everyone else jabbered. In the distance, Twinkle was yelling, “I am not naughty! I wath vewwy fwightened, I tell you!”

Charmain cut down some of the noise by scooping Waif up. Princess Hilda silenced most of the rest by clapping her hands and saying, “Back to work, everyone. Nancy, take Morgan away before he deafens us all and make it very clear to him that he is not going out on the roof too. Sophie dear, can you shut Twinkle up?”


Tags: Diana Wynne Jones Howl's Moving Castle Fantasy