My laugh was just as shaky as his, the tears still streaming down my face. I pushed the words out, garbled and half-formed. ‘I was awake. I couldn’t bear to sleep. The yacht party, Luca. There’s been casualties. A lot …’
‘I know,’ he said, his face crumpling. ‘I was listening to it on the radio.’
‘Do you know who … ?’
He shook his head, heaved a breath. ‘Not yet.’ He shut his eyes, tight, and when he opened them, they were clear again. ‘I made my choice, Sophie. I made my choice.’
I pressed my palm against his heart. ‘The choice to live.’
‘And I’ll live with the consequences. All that I’ve lost.’
‘All that you’ll gain,’ I whispered, raising my chin so I could meet his eyes. ‘I’m here for you. Whatever happens, I’m here.’
He ran his hands up and down my arms, warming my skin. He was mired in grief; it was etched across the planes of his face. I could feel it between us. But there was something else there too – clear and bright and bold. It was shining in his eyes. Purpose, rightness.
‘It’s over,’ he said. ‘It’s over, Sophie. There is nothing more we can do.’
‘How did you know where I was?’ I asked, suddenly struck by the impossibility of it.
‘Millie,’ he said, the intensity in his expression flickering into a small smile. ‘She made me promise that I wouldn’t go back if I came here. That neither of us would. She made me swear it was for real.’
‘She gave you the address.’ And she hadn’t said anything. Maybe she was afraid he wouldn’t come.
‘Not without a lengthy interrogation,’ he said.
‘She must have been sure of you.’
Luca pressed his forehead against mine. ‘I’ve never been so sure of anything.’
My fingers were curled inside his sweater, clutching at his chest, pulling him closer, closer. ‘My head is spinning,’ I said.
Luca pulled back so he could look me in the eyes. ‘I couldn’t do it, Sophie. I couldn’t do it, knowing there was another life for me out here with you. I saw what Millie did for you, how she waded into the darkness and pulled you out, and you went because you love her, because you owe yourself a decent life, and the truth is I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. You’re the last good thing in my life – all the hope and joy for a future that I actually want, and when I watched you leave that day, it felt like my heart was splitting in two. I was stuck, balancing on the brink of hell, and then you tumbled into my life and for the first time, I saw the possibility of a life outside those walls. A life with you. A life worth living.’ He inhaled sharply, coming closer until our noses were touching. ‘And once I knew that, I couldn’t let go of it. I’ll go anywhere for you, Sophie. I want to be the person you see when you look at me.’
‘That’s who you are,’ I said, knowing in my heart that it was true.
He pressed his lips against mine. That feeling, familiar and strong, came over me again.
‘When I’m with you, it feels like coming home,’ he said. ‘I feel like I finally belong somewhere. You’re my somewhere, Sophie.’
I pressed his hand against my heart so he could feel it racing beneath his fingertips. ‘I’m going to go into cardiac arrest if you’re not careful.’
His laugh was low and breathy. He slid his hand into my hair, his thumb caressing my cheek as I smiled against it. ‘Just imagine how I feel every time you smile at me.’
I stood in the heat of his gaze and let myself burn. ‘So, what now, Luca?’
‘We’ll have to lie low for a while, until the dust settles, until we’re safe to move on.’ He tipped my chin up with his index finger, a slow smile tugging at his lips. ‘But we’ll figure it out. Whatever happens, it will be an adventure.’
‘Can we lie low in Disneyland?’
Luca tried to force a frown, but his lips were still curving. ‘Trust you to lower the severity of the situation.’
‘I’m trying to be helpful,’ I pointed out.
‘Why don’t you leave the planning to me? I’m ridiculously intelligent, remember.’
I tapped my chin. ‘But I don’t respect your authority, remember?’
He grinned. ‘That’s why I love you so much.’
‘Because I don’t respect you?’
‘Because you infuriate me,’ he said, tapping my nose.
‘And I love you,’ I said, brushing my lips against his. ‘Because you’re so easy to infuriate.’
‘Mmm,’ he murmured, his mouth against mine.
‘Come with me.’ I dragged him back towards the house. I pulled out my phone and composed a quick text to Millie as we made our way back through the darkness.
Got your gift. He’s a little tired and unkempt, but I think I’ll keep him.
Her response was lightning fast.
Glorious news. Enjoy your lover, but don’t forget who your soulmate is â?º
Never â?º
We reached Evelina’s house, and I pulled him with me on to the porch and rapped my knuckles against the door. ‘I just want Millie to know that I’m OK. Especially if I won’t be seeing her for a while.’
‘I’ll make sure to reunite you two,’ he said, before adding, with much less confidence, ‘Once we figure out how to bury our underworld connections once and for all.’ ugh was just as shaky as his, the tears still streaming down my face. I pushed the words out, garbled and half-formed. ‘I was awake. I couldn’t bear to sleep. The yacht party, Luca. There’s been casualties. A lot …’
‘I know,’ he said, his face crumpling. ‘I was listening to it on the radio.’
‘Do you know who … ?’
He shook his head, heaved a breath. ‘Not yet.’ He shut his eyes, tight, and when he opened them, they were clear again. ‘I made my choice, Sophie. I made my choice.’
I pressed my palm against his heart. ‘The choice to live.’
‘And I’ll live with the consequences. All that I’ve lost.’
‘All that you’ll gain,’ I whispered, raising my chin so I could meet his eyes. ‘I’m here for you. Whatever happens, I’m here.’
He ran his hands up and down my arms, warming my skin. He was mired in grief; it was etched across the planes of his face. I could feel it between us. But there was something else there too – clear and bright and bold. It was shining in his eyes. Purpose, rightness.
‘It’s over,’ he said. ‘It’s over, Sophie. There is nothing more we can do.’
‘How did you know where I was?’ I asked, suddenly struck by the impossibility of it.
‘Millie,’ he said, the intensity in his expression flickering into a small smile. ‘She made me promise that I wouldn’t go back if I came here. That neither of us would. She made me swear it was for real.’
‘She gave you the address.’ And she hadn’t said anything. Maybe she was afraid he wouldn’t come.
‘Not without a lengthy interrogation,’ he said.
‘She must have been sure of you.’
Luca pressed his forehead against mine. ‘I’ve never been so sure of anything.’
My fingers were curled inside his sweater, clutching at his chest, pulling him closer, closer. ‘My head is spinning,’ I said.
Luca pulled back so he could look me in the eyes. ‘I couldn’t do it, Sophie. I couldn’t do it, knowing there was another life for me out here with you. I saw what Millie did for you, how she waded into the darkness and pulled you out, and you went because you love her, because you owe yourself a decent life, and the truth is I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. You’re the last good thing in my life – all the hope and joy for a future that I actually want, and when I watched you leave that day, it felt like my heart was splitting in two. I was stuck, balancing on the brink of hell, and then you tumbled into my life and for the first time, I saw the possibility of a life outside those walls. A life with you. A life worth living.’ He inhaled sharply, coming closer until our noses were touching. ‘And once I knew that, I couldn’t let go of it. I’ll go anywhere for you, Sophie. I want to be the person you see when you look at me.’
‘That’s who you are,’ I said, knowing in my heart that it was true.
He pressed his lips against mine. That feeling, familiar and strong, came over me again.
‘When I’m with you, it feels like coming home,’ he said. ‘I feel like I finally belong somewhere. You’re my somewhere, Sophie.’
I pressed his hand against my heart so he could feel it racing beneath his fingertips. ‘I’m going to go into cardiac arrest if you’re not careful.’
His laugh was low and breathy. He slid his hand into my hair, his thumb caressing my cheek as I smiled against it. ‘Just imagine how I feel every time you smile at me.’
I stood in the heat of his gaze and let myself burn. ‘So, what now, Luca?’
‘We’ll have to lie low for a while, until the dust settles, until we’re safe to move on.’ He tipped my chin up with his index finger, a slow smile tugging at his lips. ‘But we’ll figure it out. Whatever happens, it will be an adventure.’
‘Can we lie low in Disneyland?’
Luca tried to force a frown, but his lips were still curving. ‘Trust you to lower the severity of the situation.’
‘I’m trying to be helpful,’ I pointed out.
‘Why don’t you leave the planning to me? I’m ridiculously intelligent, remember.’
I tapped my chin. ‘But I don’t respect your authority, remember?’
He grinned. ‘That’s why I love you so much.’
‘Because I don’t respect you?’
‘Because you infuriate me,’ he said, tapping my nose.
‘And I love you,’ I said, brushing my lips against his. ‘Because you’re so easy to infuriate.’
‘Mmm,’ he murmured, his mouth against mine.
‘Come with me.’ I dragged him back towards the house. I pulled out my phone and composed a quick text to Millie as we made our way back through the darkness.
Got your gift. He’s a little tired and unkempt, but I think I’ll keep him.
Her response was lightning fast.
Glorious news. Enjoy your lover, but don’t forget who your soulmate is â?º
Never â?º
We reached Evelina’s house, and I pulled him with me on to the porch and rapped my knuckles against the door. ‘I just want Millie to know that I’m OK. Especially if I won’t be seeing her for a while.’
‘I’ll make sure to reunite you two,’ he said, before adding, with much less confidence, ‘Once we figure out how to bury our underworld connections once and for all.’