‘Dad says we have to leave Cedar Hill.’
She nodded, a shadow passing across her face. ‘I see now he’s right. Sophie,’ she tugged at my arm and took my hand in hers, ‘you know everything I do is to keep you safe. You know I would die before I let anyone put you in danger, right?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Of course I know that.’
‘Good,’ she said quietly. ‘Because sometimes it’s hard to know what the right thing is. Sometimes … especially lately, everything seems so fuzzy. But we have each other, and that’s what matters. I’m sorry Donata Marino lost her daughter, but I have no intention of letting her gamble with mine. Not ever.’
I squeezed her hand. ‘We’ll be OK.’
She nodded, but her gaze was lost somewhere over my shoulder. ‘We’ll go away from here. I just have to find the money.’ Her face crumpled but she caught it, stretching a smile as her eyes turned watery. ‘I’ll think of something, sweetheart.’
‘Don’t worry,’ I told her. ‘I already have.’
In the kitchen, I filled a glass and put the violets inside it. I placed the makeshift vase on the windowsill and swallowed my nerves. We’ll come back for you soon. Soon the world would tilt into darkness. Just how soon was soon? I wasn’t going to stick around and find out. Tomorrow my mother and I would disappear.
I pulled out my phone and dialled Millie’s number. She answered on the third ring.
‘What are you doing tomorrow morning?’ I asked her.
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, cagey as ever. ‘Why?’
‘I need a ride to Evelina.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
THE LIE
When I woke up the sun had risen somewhere behind a thick sheen of dark clouds and even the air inside was crackling. I showered, washing off the fear and the sweat, and by the time I emerged again, freshly clothed in denim shorts and a tank top, I looked a little less like death-with-frizzy-hair.
I found my mother hovering in her room. She had changed into a tracksuit and white sneakers, and had clipped her hair back behind her ears. She stopped folding a T-shirt when I came in. I could never tell her what I was about to do. I couldn’t explain my intentions because she wouldn’t understand them, and she wouldn’t let me go. Not after everything Donata had told her about the Falcones. She’d think me a lunatic for going to the murderers’ palace.
‘I’ve got to go out for a bit,’ I told her. ‘But I’ll be back this evening.’
‘Where are you going that will take so long? I thought you were just going to the bank …’
‘Errands,’ I said, keeping my voice lofty. I gestured around me at the air, hoping to distract her from the threads of suspicion that were connecting behind her eyes. ‘I’ll go to the bank and get my savings. I have to see Millie and let her know what’s going on. And I want to pick up a few things too.’
‘Oh,’ she said, bewildered. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘I think you should carry on packing, so we can get a head start.’
She was nodding at all the clothes that had spilt out around her. ‘Yes,’ she said, frowning. ‘There’s a lot to do.’
I stepped back from her, smiling without feeling the joy that was supposed to go with it. ‘Exactly.’
Millie was already waiting for me when I flung the front door open. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she grumbled as I got into the car. I had spent thirty minutes talking her around last night before I finally got her on board.
‘I hope so too,’ I said.
‘You know you can always stay with me. I can ask my dad to lend—’
‘Mil,’ I cut her off. ‘This isn’t a vacation, it’s a blood feud, and I told you a thousand times, I am not involving you.’
‘What if they refuse to help you, Soph? Any bright ideas then?’
I flopped back against the seat, staring out the windscreen at the sinking grey sky. ‘Then I guess I’m going to have to rob a bank.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SANCTUARY
After a long ride from the city, we pulled up outside the winding driveway of Evelina. I was surprised we remembered the way so easily – but then again, it had become the setting of some of my most scarring memories.
‘I’ll be nearby,’ Millie said as I got out. We’d agreed I would go in alone. It was safer that way, and I had already involved Millie way too much as it was. ‘Text me every fifteen minutes. If I don’t hear from you, I swear to God I’m calling the police and I’ll take my chances with the consequences.’
‘Thanks, Mil. I owe you a ton for this.’
She pushed her shades up her nose and sighed. ‘I’ll remember that if I ever need a kidney.’
I jogged up the driveway, pushing away the bubbles of anxiety as Millie pulled away and got lost, or hidden, somewhere in the surrounding countryside.
The doorbell rang inside the walls. The man who answered was the gentle giant who had tried to calm Millie and me down when we were here before … the Falcone who had lied right to my face about Sara’s fate. Paulie. Still, it could have been worse. It could have been his brother. It could have been Felice.
He glanced behind me. ‘Miss Gracewell. This is surprising.’
He had all the formal politeness of his brother but none of the slimy passive aggression. I studied his hand perched lightly on the doorframe. His fingernails were painted bright pink and yellow. o;Dad says we have to leave Cedar Hill.’
She nodded, a shadow passing across her face. ‘I see now he’s right. Sophie,’ she tugged at my arm and took my hand in hers, ‘you know everything I do is to keep you safe. You know I would die before I let anyone put you in danger, right?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Of course I know that.’
‘Good,’ she said quietly. ‘Because sometimes it’s hard to know what the right thing is. Sometimes … especially lately, everything seems so fuzzy. But we have each other, and that’s what matters. I’m sorry Donata Marino lost her daughter, but I have no intention of letting her gamble with mine. Not ever.’
I squeezed her hand. ‘We’ll be OK.’
She nodded, but her gaze was lost somewhere over my shoulder. ‘We’ll go away from here. I just have to find the money.’ Her face crumpled but she caught it, stretching a smile as her eyes turned watery. ‘I’ll think of something, sweetheart.’
‘Don’t worry,’ I told her. ‘I already have.’
In the kitchen, I filled a glass and put the violets inside it. I placed the makeshift vase on the windowsill and swallowed my nerves. We’ll come back for you soon. Soon the world would tilt into darkness. Just how soon was soon? I wasn’t going to stick around and find out. Tomorrow my mother and I would disappear.
I pulled out my phone and dialled Millie’s number. She answered on the third ring.
‘What are you doing tomorrow morning?’ I asked her.
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, cagey as ever. ‘Why?’
‘I need a ride to Evelina.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
THE LIE
When I woke up the sun had risen somewhere behind a thick sheen of dark clouds and even the air inside was crackling. I showered, washing off the fear and the sweat, and by the time I emerged again, freshly clothed in denim shorts and a tank top, I looked a little less like death-with-frizzy-hair.
I found my mother hovering in her room. She had changed into a tracksuit and white sneakers, and had clipped her hair back behind her ears. She stopped folding a T-shirt when I came in. I could never tell her what I was about to do. I couldn’t explain my intentions because she wouldn’t understand them, and she wouldn’t let me go. Not after everything Donata had told her about the Falcones. She’d think me a lunatic for going to the murderers’ palace.
‘I’ve got to go out for a bit,’ I told her. ‘But I’ll be back this evening.’
‘Where are you going that will take so long? I thought you were just going to the bank …’
‘Errands,’ I said, keeping my voice lofty. I gestured around me at the air, hoping to distract her from the threads of suspicion that were connecting behind her eyes. ‘I’ll go to the bank and get my savings. I have to see Millie and let her know what’s going on. And I want to pick up a few things too.’
‘Oh,’ she said, bewildered. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘I think you should carry on packing, so we can get a head start.’
She was nodding at all the clothes that had spilt out around her. ‘Yes,’ she said, frowning. ‘There’s a lot to do.’
I stepped back from her, smiling without feeling the joy that was supposed to go with it. ‘Exactly.’
Millie was already waiting for me when I flung the front door open. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing,’ she grumbled as I got into the car. I had spent thirty minutes talking her around last night before I finally got her on board.
‘I hope so too,’ I said.
‘You know you can always stay with me. I can ask my dad to lend—’
‘Mil,’ I cut her off. ‘This isn’t a vacation, it’s a blood feud, and I told you a thousand times, I am not involving you.’
‘What if they refuse to help you, Soph? Any bright ideas then?’
I flopped back against the seat, staring out the windscreen at the sinking grey sky. ‘Then I guess I’m going to have to rob a bank.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SANCTUARY
After a long ride from the city, we pulled up outside the winding driveway of Evelina. I was surprised we remembered the way so easily – but then again, it had become the setting of some of my most scarring memories.
‘I’ll be nearby,’ Millie said as I got out. We’d agreed I would go in alone. It was safer that way, and I had already involved Millie way too much as it was. ‘Text me every fifteen minutes. If I don’t hear from you, I swear to God I’m calling the police and I’ll take my chances with the consequences.’
‘Thanks, Mil. I owe you a ton for this.’
She pushed her shades up her nose and sighed. ‘I’ll remember that if I ever need a kidney.’
I jogged up the driveway, pushing away the bubbles of anxiety as Millie pulled away and got lost, or hidden, somewhere in the surrounding countryside.
The doorbell rang inside the walls. The man who answered was the gentle giant who had tried to calm Millie and me down when we were here before … the Falcone who had lied right to my face about Sara’s fate. Paulie. Still, it could have been worse. It could have been his brother. It could have been Felice.
He glanced behind me. ‘Miss Gracewell. This is surprising.’
He had all the formal politeness of his brother but none of the slimy passive aggression. I studied his hand perched lightly on the doorframe. His fingernails were painted bright pink and yellow.