“I’ll see you when it’s through,” I answer Carter as he walks off without looking back.
“You should go too,” I tell Seth as the place empties. “Go with them.”
“What are you talking about?” His voice is low with disbelief.
“You stay back. In case it’s a setup.” I can feel chills flowing down my skin at the thought of Marcus being more prepared than we are. He’s the one who made the rules to this game. He knows it better than anyone. He sets himself up to win.
“I’m the one who needs to go in. I’m the one who brought us all here.” A cold sweat breaks out across my shoulders and down my back before taking over my entire body as I stare down the barren hall. It feels like my death sentence. I’m a fool to think otherwise, but I have to go in. I can’t leave her here. I can’t and I won’t.
“It says ‘all,’” Seth says as he looks me in the eyes, defying me and referring to the sign that blocks the path. “I’m not letting you go in there alone.” Disregarding my orders he takes a step forward, pushing the sign to the side, into the dimly lit hall and I yank him back, fisting the thin white cotton of his shirt.
Time passes with both of us waiting for the other, knowing what we’re walking into and looking it in the eyes anyway.
“Are you sure?” I ask him.
“We’re in this together. I have to admit, I didn’t really care for Marcus before, but now I hate the fucker.” He offers me a hint of a smirk and a huff of humor leaves me. Patting his back, I grip my gun with both hands. He readies his and I nod.
“We get her and we get out.”
“Got it,” he says then nods and we go in together.
The thumping in my chest gets harder listening to Seth’s pace picking up to match mine as we move down the dark hall, the smell of soil and rust filling my lungs as we move.
“You have a strong family,” Seth comments with something that sounds like longing.
“We’re close,” I answer him and he glances at me, but doesn’t say another word.
“Let’s not die today. I’d like to go back to them.”
Bethany
I can’t get this feeling out of the pit of my stomach.
Sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting. I don’t like sitting and fucking waiting around.
Everyone you love will die before you. My mother’s voice has kept me company for more hours than I can count. Warning me. I let myself fall and it feels like I’ve been delivered a death sentence. Why did I let myself fall? Why did he have to keep me from running?
The thump of the book falling from my hand down to the floor scares the shit out of me. My nerves are messier than ever; they’re worse than a necklace tangled at the bottom of a luggage case on a bumpy road trip.
I force myself to read The Coverless Book. I read every page in it. I read about Emmy feeling better and the two of them getting married in secret. I read about them falling in love and sharing their first time together.
Then a new sentence started as he watched her lie down, but I don’t know how it ends. I stared at the last page for the longest time, not understanding. It’s half a sentence, mid-thought from Jacob about how he’d do anything for her. Someone cut the pages out. Lots of them. It looks like there’s at least twenty missing that I can spot. So much for reading to distract me.
I know there’s more to the story. It can’t be cut short like that. The moment the thought hits me, I’m drenched in the nightmare of my sister crying on the floor. Telling me she just wanted them to have a happy ending.
“Jenny,” I breathe her name, staring at the clock and wanting Jase to come back with her.
I can’t sit here and do nothing.
With nothing to distract me, my mind goes to the worst of places. Pacing and staring into the fire as the smell of leather envelops me.
Dropping my hands to my knees, I feel the flames as my hair hits my face. It’s the waiting that kills me. I can’t sleep without seeing my mother remind me that everyone I love will die before me. I can’t think without wondering if Jase has found Jenny and all the things she may have had to endure. I don’t know who she’ll be when he finds her. If he finds her.
This isn’t a way to live, waiting and in fear.
Are you there? I text Laura and wait. I’m exhausted from barely sleeping, but there’s no way I can sleep now.
I’m scared, I message her again, needing to tell someone. She doesn’t text me back though. She could be working; she could be sleeping. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.