“What does she want?” I say out loud and Carter answers as if he’s known Beth her entire life.
“Someone to help her with the things that matter most to her. Someone to love her.”
His phone vibrates again and that’s when I check mine and my stomach drops. “She needs someone to kick her ass. That’s what she needs,” I murmur under my breath.
Bethany
“Seth told me.”
The heat in Jase’s car is stifling. For the first time, he’s driving and Seth is nowhere to be seen. It’s just us.
“What did he tell you?” I ask.
“You said you wouldn’t run,” he says and his tone is accusatory.
A small and insignificant sigh falls from my lips as I stare at the passing trees, small buds forming on the branches and lean my head against the passenger side window. “I wasn’t running.”
The steady clicking of the blinker is the only sound until we turn at the end of the street. “What would you call it?” he asks me and I answer.
“Following my boss’s orders to take a vacation while getting away from the chaos for a moment.”
“You really think you would have come back?” I can tell from the huff that leaves him that he doesn’t believe I would have.
“I would have missed you, worried about you and thought about you every second I was gone. You’re a fool to think otherwise.” I second-guess my harsh manner and turn to look at him. He only gives me his profile; he’s still staring at the road. His stubble is longer than it’s ever been, but I love the masculinity of it, along with his dominating features. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you that.”
Quiet. It’s quiet and that’s how I know he doesn’t believe me. I suppose it works both ways. The mistrust between us runs deep with not just everything that’s happened, but the way we’ve handled it all.
Laying a hand between us, palm up, I offer a truce. “I thought you’d come last night. I was waiting for you.”
“You didn’t message me.”
“Neither did you.” I give him back the same accusatory tone.
“Seth suggested that I give you space. Carter agreed with him. I thought I could use some as well, given that you made plans to leave.”
“You scared me–”
“I apologized.” His words cut me off and I steady myself, pulling my hand back to my lap.
“Do you want me to apologize? I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you think I’d run.” Transparency is what I’m aiming for, so I let the words spill out. Every bit honest. “I could’ve handled it differently. I didn’t trust you’d let me go.”
“You’re damn right, I wouldn’t have and I won’t now.” Anger simmers inside of me until vulnerability stretches his next words. “You knew before.”
My heart does a silly thing. It beats out of rhythm, making sure I’m listening to it. “Knew what?”
“You knew who I was.”
“I still know. I’m still here, aren’t I?”
He finally glances at me as the expensive car drives over gravel for a short moment, jostling the smooth ride.
“I would do anything for you. Name it, I’ll do it. Whatever you need to make you want to stay.”
“What?” I say and the word is as exasperated as I am. “What are you talking about?”
“If you want to leave, you come straight to me. In exchange,” he says as he taps his thumb rapidly on the leather steering wheel. “Name it. Whatever you need in exchange for me being the person you run to.”
I don’t hesitate to take away the card he’s been playing to keep me under his thumb as I say, “Drop the debt.”
“It’s dropped.”
He says it too easily, too quickly. The words were waiting to be spoken. It didn’t matter what I said. The long drive is winding as we approach the Cross estate. The dent in the fence is already fixed, but my mind replays the images of when I sped away as we drive by it.
“I don’t believe you. The moment I do something you don’t like or the second I make you think I’m leaving you, you’ll say I owe you.”
“I’ll write it down in fucking blood, Bethany.” There’s no menace in his words, only desperation and he adds, “I’m trying,” while staring into my eyes. I can feel it deep inside of me, his need to hold me.
I barely whisper, “Why do you want me?”
“Because you make it okay. You make it all right.”
“I don’t know what I’m making okay, Jase. Can’t you understand how that’s my problem?”
The car comes to a halt on the paved driveway and he lets out a long exhale, staring at the bricked exterior rather than at me before he tells me again, “I’m trying.”
“I’ll try too,” I answer quickly, remembering the tit for tat our relationship started as and may always be. “Let’s go back to the beginning. There’s no debt this time, but I still have questions. I don’t want to forget what happened to my sister. I want to know who. I want to know why.”