He turned from the door, his expression inscrutable as he loosened his white tie. Rachel watched him, feeling like a mouse being observed by a hawk, although there was nothing particularly predatory about his cool blue-green gaze. She was just feeling uncertain and vulnerable now that they’d finally reached this moment, the moment when they were alone together. When they would truly become husband and wife.
‘It’s very late,’ Mateo remarked. ‘We don’t have to do anything tonight.’
Rachel couldn’t keep disappointment from swooping inside her. Clearly he wasn’t in any rush.
‘We might as well get it over with,’ she tossed back at him, echoing his words from this morning that had hurt her more than they should have.
‘Is that how you view it?’ His lips twisted and he tossed his tie aside.
‘It’s not how I want to view it,’ she returned. The last thing she wanted to do was argue now. ‘I’m not trying to sound snippy, but I have no idea how you feel about this, Mateo.’
‘This?’
‘Us.’ She gestured to the bed. ‘You know.’
‘Sex?’ he stated baldly, and for some reason she flinched. He made it sound like some sort of physical procedure they had to perform, rather than the joyful consummation of their marriage.
‘Yes,’ she muttered, and suddenly found herself fighting tears. She turned away from him, not wanting him to see, but he caught her arm.
‘Rachel.’
‘What...?’ she managed thickly, blinking as fast as she could to keep the tears back. A few fell anyway.
‘I’m sorry. I think I’m being an ass.’
‘You think?’
‘All right. I am. I’m sorry. I don’t...’ He blew out a breath. ‘This is strange for me too.’
‘Not as strange as it is for me,’ she returned tartly, and he frowned at her.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I have a feeling that my experience is significantly more limited than yours,’ she informed him, knowing it needed to be said even as she wished that it didn’t.
‘Oh?’ Mateo gazed at her appraisingly. ‘You might be wrong.’
She almost laughed at that. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘I’m not some Lothario, Rachel. Work has been my mistress more than any woman.’ His mouth curved in a crooked smile. ‘I’ve spent far more time with you than anyone else, you know.’
‘As gratified as I am to hear that, I still stand by my statement.’ She felt her cheeks heat as she confessed, ‘I have very little experience, Mateo.’
His narrowed gaze scanned her face. ‘You’re...you’re not a virgin,’ he stated, not quite making it a question.
‘No...but almost.’
‘How can you be almost?’
She pressed her hands to her cheeks, willing her blush to fade. ‘This is seriously embarrassing, you know?’
‘You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.’ He made it sound so obvious, but it wasn’t.
‘I do, especially when you turn all brooding and remote on me, and make me feel as if I don’t know you at all.’
‘Brooding and remote?’ The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. ‘Just slap me when I do that.’
‘I might.’