I forced my thoughts away from my epic failure. After all, this was another day, as Scarlett O'Hara would say, and here I was, still alive, still breathing, and still determined to do what needed to be done. Jo-Jo had patched me up, made me whole and healthy once more, which meant that I still had a chance to kill Mab-
"Ahem. " Someone cleared his throat.
I raised my head and spotted Owen Grayson sitting in a rocking chair at the foot of the bed, an open book in his lap and a mug of coffee on the table beside him.
"I see that you're awake now," he rumbled in his deep voice.
I smiled at him. "Once more, it seems. "
Instead of responding to my teasing, rueful smile, Owen put his book aside, crossed his muscled arms over his chest, and speared me with a hard stare. Uh-oh. Someone was not pleased, and I didn't have to guess why. I hadn't told Owen what I was doing last night-especially that I was going after Mab.
Early morning sunlight slanted in through the window, bathing Owen's chiseled features in a pale golden glow. Blue-black hair, violet eyes, slightly crooked nose, a white scar that slashed underneath his chin. Interesting enough features by themselves, but put them all together, and you had one hell of an attractive man.
And the rest of Owen was just as appealing. My gaze drifted over his solid, muscled body. In many ways, he had a dwarf's sturdy physique, although at six feet one, Owen was more than a foot taller than most dwarves. Unlike so many businessmen of his wealth and position, Owen didn't spend hours in the gym to keep his body lean and trim. No, he'd gotten his physique the old-fashioned way-through years of hard, physical labor. He'd started out as a blacksmith, turning one small shop into a vast business empire that had made him one of the wealthiest men in Ashland, even though he was only in his thirties.
Being a blacksmith had been a natural fit for Owen, who had what he considered to be a minor elemental talent for metal. He could manipulate it the same way that I could Stone, since metal was an offshoot of that element. But his talent was anything but small, given the exquisite sculptures and weapons that he created, including the matched set of five silverstone knives he'd given me as a Christmas present. The ones that had my spider rune stamped into their hilts.
But perhaps the thing that most appealed to me about Owen was his personality-and complete acceptance of me. Unlike a previous lover of mine, Owen didn't judge or condemn me for being the Spider. He knew exactly what kind of dark, violent city Ashland was, and he didn't look down on the things I'd done over the years to survive. Mainly, because he'd done some of them himself to protect his younger sister, Eva.
Strong, confident, capable, sexy, caring. Owen was everything that I'd ever wanted in a lover-everything that I'd ever wanted in my life. Too bad I was too much of an emotional coward to tell him so-or let him know exactly how much I cared about him.
I kept staring at Owen, and he looked right back at me, not saying anything. Up to me to get the ball rolling then.
I sighed. "Okay. Let me have it. I know you're angry. Your eyes are practically glowing with it. Jo-Jo called you, I take it, and told you about my little adventure?"
Owen gave me the hard stare a moment longer before nodding. "She did. What I really want to know is what the hell were you thinking, going after Mab by yourself? We've talked about this, Gin. We've all decided that it's too dangerous. "
The we in question being myself, Owen, Finn, the Deveraux sisters, and my sister, Detective Bria Coolidge. All of us had a vested interest in seeing Mab dead. We just couldn't figure out how to make it happen without all of us going down in flames with her.
"I know," I snapped. "But I'm tired of hiding from Mab and her minions. I'm tired of worrying what she might do to Bria. I want the bitch dead. "
Owen wasn't the only one who was angry. I felt it too, sinking its hot, gnashing teeth into my heart, along with the rest of the emotional termites. Most of it was directed at myself because I'd missed last night. But part of it was because I was scared too-scared of how much it had meant to wake up and see Owen sitting next to my bed. We'd been together for a few months now, but it always surprised me just how very much I cared about him, especially when I'd been so badly burned by a previous lover.
Owen was far more important to me than he realized-so important that it frightened me a little bit. Okay, a whole hell of a lot. Enough to make me want to keep him at arm's length, even though I knew it was too late for that. Too many people that I'd loved over the years had been murdered for me to easily open up my heart to others. My mother, my older sister, Fletcher. All dead and gone before their time-all because of me and my mistakes.
Somehow, Owen had stormed his way into my heart whether I'd wanted him there or not, and now I'd do anything to keep him safe-even sacrifice myself like I almost had last night on my self-imposed quest.
"I don't see why you care so much anyway," I muttered in a harsher, colder voice than I would have liked. "It was my ass on the line last night, not yours. I made sure of that. "
Owen's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched, and his arms tightened across his chest. "Why? Why do I care so much, Gin? Because I-"
He bit off his words, but they hung in the air between us like a ghost, writhing and twisting, just like my heart was right now.
Because I love you. That's what he'd been about to say. The shock of his almost uttering the words drove the air from my lungs. Owen-loved me? Really? Truly? I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know what to make of anything anymore-especially not the softness for him that had wormed its way down into the deepest, darkest, blackest part of my heart. Into my very soul, even. If I hadn't killed it long ago by being the Spider.
Owen looked away and drew in a breath. "Because I care about you, Gin. That's why. I don't want you going off on a suicide mission to try to kill Mab. I'd rather have you alive any day than her dead, even if she did murder your family and my parents. "
I wasn't Mab's only victim. Far from it. Part of the reason Owen understood my obsession with killing the Fire elemental was that she'd murdered his parents when he'd been a teenager. Mab had burned Owen's house to the ground because of a gambling debt that his father owed, killing his parents in the process, and leaving him homeless and to fend for himself and his sister, Eva, who'd been little more than a baby then.
"Better me go by myself than drag the rest of you down with me," I pointed out in a quiet voice. "And you know that's what would have happened. Mab is too well protected at her estate for a full-frontal assault. You and Finn both know that. So do Jo-Jo, Sophia, and even Bria. I had to go in by myself. That was the only way I could even get close enough to Mab to take my shot. "
I closed my eyes. The anger, melancholy, and frustration welled up in my chest again, until they coated my mouth and throat like bitter, burning acid. "Too bad I blew it and missed. "
"I know," Owen said in a gentler tone. "Finn called me this morning. Seems that his phone started ringing last night and hasn't stopped since. All his contacts are buzzing with the news. He was a little upset about it himself. Said he'd catch up with you at the Pork Pit later today. "
I groaned. "What Finn really means is that he'll lambaste me six ways from Sunday while he eats a free lunch at the counter. "
Some of the anger softened in Owen's violet eyes, and a sly grin lifted up his lips. "Something like that, I imagine. "