It took weeks for this to happen. I stopped hooking up and made her my priority. There was just something about her, something that told me she would be worth it. The first thing I did was find out where her locker was. I had to follow her around all morning. She took her books out as the bell rang, and she headed off to class. I could afford to skip. No one really knew it, but I was up-to-date with all my work and held an average grade of A-minus.
When the hall was clear, I got to work. Smiling like an idiot, I waited for the bell then hid behind a pillar, quietly watching. When she approached her locker, she paused mid-step. Placing a hand to her chest, she approached with caution. Students began to whisper and point, and I was glad for it. She would get the attention she deserved.
As she read the message, her eyes narrowed. She searched the crowd for a hint of who had done this. I stepped out of my hiding spot, leaning against the pillar with my hands in my pockets. Our eyes met. I smiled and lifted a brow. A look of surprise crossed her face, and her lips parted slightly. All I wanted to do was kiss those pink lips with a gentleness I had never shown a girl. I ached for her.
She looked back at her locker, uncertainty in her eyes. She read the message again.
Smart is sexy.
Painted in yellow and lined with black, I hoped the message would stay up there forever as a reminder to her that she was exactly right. I was the asshole, and she deserved better. So I would try to be better for her. I would be the person she deserved.
My sixteen-year-old self was in love. I felt it like a punch to the gut. It was love at first sight. I was sure of that. I had to have her.
The next day, I had a flower arrangement delivered to the school’s office. I had Nik choose it for me. I was clueless that way. He said tulips were always good, but if I didn’t want to scare her off, to get every color but pink and red. When I heard her name being called over the PA system, my hands started to sweat. I was nervous.
My nerves were eased when I saw her walking down the hall, smiling into her bouquet of tulips. Nik was right about the color thing. He chose yellow, white, orange, and purple tulips, and from the way she was smiling at them, I wish I’d done some research and picked them myself. I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
I wanted to talk to her, but she was suddenly swarmed with a dozen whispering girls.
“Who are they from?”
“They’re so beautiful!”
“Oh, man, you’re so lucky!”
“Maddy, they’re gorgeous!”
She lifted her head and looked right at me. A gorgeous smile crossed her face and she mouthed, ‘thank you’.
My gut clenched from the beauty of that smile. I knew I was in deep shit.
Later that night, she called. To say I was surprised was an understatement, because our number wasn’t listed and I had no idea how she managed to get it. I was surprised, but overjoyed. We started talking every night, but avoided each other at school. She was still unsure of me. I would give her as much time as she needed. I lived to make her laugh, and I did. A lot.
We got to know each other and talked up until the early hours of the morning, or until one of us fell asleep. One night, about four weeks into our secret friendship, I went out on a limb. Lying in my bed, I whispered into the phone, “I would give anything to be your guy. I want you to be my girl, Maddy.”
She hesitated. “What if it doesn’t work out?”
I countered, “What if it does?” She remained silent. I all but begged, “Gimme a chance. One chance.” Without answering me, she plead a headache and I let her go.
The next morning, I walked down the hall towards my locker. I was in a mood. I couldn’t understand what more I could do to prove to Maddy I was serious about her. But I wouldn’t give up. I packed my books inside and closed the door. As I turned, I stilled. There she was, right in front of me.
She looked scared. “Hi.”
A small smile tilted my lips. “Hey. You okay?”
Breathing deep, she exhaled slowly, stepped forward, and placed her hand in mine. Our fingers entwined. I looked down at our intertwined hands and beamed. She answered with a shy smile, “Perfect. Everything’s perfect.”
Three weeks later, we shared our first kiss.
A year later, we made love.
Three years after that, Maddy told me I was going to be a daddy. It was love in its purest form.
Nine months later, I met the second love of my life. She came wrapped in a pink blanket. She had my eyes, but she was all Maddy. I named her for my mother.
In five years, my life was turned on its head. I would’ve done anything for Maddy, but she didn’t feel the same. And that’s why I don’t ever want to fall in love again.
Love hurts.