What did she just say?
I stop myself from jumping in the air and kicking my heels together. Instead, I kiss the top of her head and hug her around the shoulders. “It won’t be bad. It’ll be fun. We’re having an adventure, me and you.”
Her small hand comes up to rest on mine and she utters a shaky, “I’m sorry, Daddy. I haven’t been very nice to you.”
I don’t bother accepting her apology. It’s been, it’s done, and it’s over. “Love you.”
I feel a tear drip from her cheek onto my forearm. She sniffles, “I love you, too.”
My heart lightens. I take hold of the handles of her chair and start wheeling her back to the house. As soon as we get through the front door, I tell her, “You want to get your things ready?”
She smiles up at me and nods. Then she’s gone. I find myself on the arm of the sofa, biting my lip, looking into nothingness. Nik startles me when his hand comes down on my shoulder. I jump, but when I see it’s just him, I breathe deep. “Fuck, man.”
“I know.”
I exhale shakily. “No, really.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “I know.”
My hand comes up to pinch the bridge of my nose. I look up at him. “I don’t think…” I shrug.
He shakes his head. “You’re not workin’ tonight. Not after that. Go and take your girl out. Get ice cream. Have some fun.”
It takes me a moment to respond. Even then, it’s quiet. Too quiet. “Thanks, man.”
Ceecee comes out of her room with her backpack over the side of her chair. She wheels herself over to me and narrows her eyes at my smile. She asks a long and drawn out, “What?”
I pick up my car keys. “Change of plan.” I jiggle the keys. “How about dinner and a movie?”
Her face morphs into shock. She asks on a whisper, “Really?”
I shoot her a well, duh look. “Uh, yeah.”
She sputters, “But…but why?”
I shrug. “I need a reason?”
She looks left, then right, then nods.
Leaning back against the dining table, I stroke my chin. “I see. Then I would like to take my girl out for the following reasons.” I count them on my fingers. “Number one, you’re my daughter and I love you. Number two, you’re the only person in the world who can out-eat me in ice cream. Number three,” I lean closer and mock whisper, “you’re much better company than all those old people.”
Nik calls out, “I heard that!”
Tina adds, “I did too!”
Mom returns, “We’ll see who’s old next time you come over begging me to feed you!”
I mutter, “Whoops.” Ceecee giggles. I smile down at her and hold my hand out. “Now can I take you out?”
Smiling big, she responds, “I’d like that, Daddy.” Then I proceed to take my little one out for pizza, a movie, and ice cream.
And we have a blast.
***
Max
As I lie in bed at the end of a great night out with my daughter, it hits me what happened tonight. It hits me hard. That I may not have found her. That she could’ve been gone. Forever. My eyes sting beneath my closed lids. I cry silently under the covers for a long time.