I watch her make her way down the hall. As the front door opens, she yells out, “Bye! Love you!”
We all call back in unison, “Love you.”
My heart aches. I’m going to miss this. The front door closes and I turn to Nik and Tina. They both smile up at me. But what I say makes their smiles fade fast.
“So,” I start, “we’re moving out.”
Chapter Four
Max
Nik and Tina blink up at me, Nik’s face full of confusion, whereas Tina’s mouth gapes. And I just stand here, nowhere near embracing the awkward silence, wishing I were the invisible man so I could lose my sweats and boxers, and hightail it out of here.
My brother’s accent thickens in frustration or anger. So, right now, when he says, “What the fuck are you talking about, man?” it actually comes out, “Tha fuck you tawkin’ ‘bout, man?”
Tina’s eyes lose focus. She shakes her head, trying to comprehend what I’ve just said before lifting her saddened gaze to me. “Honey, what on earth are you saying? You can’t move out. This is Ceecee’s home. Your home.”
I dip my chin, place my hands on my hips, and bounce one leg. I think of what to say without sounding like an asshole. “No. This is your home. You have two little girls and a growing family. Yeah, Ceecee was brought up in this house, but it isn’t ours.” I dare to look at Nik. “Never was.”
He shrugs lightly. “I don’t get where this is coming from. What happened?”
I breathe deep, raise my arms, rest my wrists on my head, and reply on an exhale, “Nothing happened. It’s not like that. This isn’t a decision made out of anger or anything…”
But Nik doesn’t hear it. He immediately stands and moves in front of me. “Whatever it is, we’ll fix it. Tell me what’s goin’ on…”
“It’s nothing. I swear…”
“It must be somethin’. Tell me what I need to do to get you to change your mind.”
“You don’t get what I’m sayin’.”
Tina stands from the table, approaching me, but I back up, hands out in warning. When Tina hugs you, there’s not a lot you wouldn’t do for her. I hold my arms out. “Don’t, Tina, not right now. I need my head clear.”
Nik quickly becomes pissed. “Don’t fuck me around, Max. Tell me what the issue is.”
Frustration erupts inside of me, and molten-hot anger spews out of my mouth. “Fuck, man, not everything is about you! It’s about me! It’s about Ceecee! It’s not about you, or Tina, or the girls! It’s about me and my girl. That’s it.”
Tina’s quiet voice breaks through my anger, taking me down a peg. Or six. “You’re not happy here?”
There’s not a sadder sight you’ll see than Tina upset. That shit stings. I quickly reach out and take hold of her hand. “No, sweetheart. That’s not it.” I run a hand through my hair. “I’m not explaining this how I should be.”
Nik folds his arms across his chest, looking agitated, but sounding patient. “Take your time.”
I release my hold on Tina’s hand and move to sit on the back of the sofa. I remain quiet a moment, thinking up what I should be saying, not what my mouth seems to want to say. “Okay. So, we’ve been here forever, right?” Nik nods. “We’ve been real happy here, Nik. You helped us out when I needed you, and I look at Ceecee and what a great little lady she’s becoming,” my throat thickens, “and it’s because of you.”
Nik’s harsh features soften with his eyes. I avoid his stare and move on, “But I stayed too long. I stayed when I should have left. I kept this going, and now it’s hard. I should’ve left when it was easy, because the thought of moving out now,” I look up at Tina, “it gives me heart palpitations.”
Tina quickly pleads, “Then don’t go! We love you. We want you here. There’s plenty of room for all of us; just don’t go.”
I smile sadly at the both of them and drop a bomb. “Already bought a place.”
Nik runs his hands across his face and whispers, “Fuck me.”
“Listen, it’s time. We’ve been here ten years too long.”
Nik interjects heatedly, “I wanted you here.” He pauses, his eyes pleading. “I want you here, man.”
I shak