“You’re so perfect,” she whispered. “How are you so perfect?”
“I’m not.” I glanced away, heart pounding. “I look awful. Horrifying.”
She sat up on her knees, so that we were almost eye-level, and grabbed both sides of my face. “You’re hot, sexy, completely drop-dead gorgeous.”
“Stop.”
“I won’t.”
“You don’t have to—” I met her gaze again and she kissed me deeply, and when she broke the kiss, she kissed my cheek and made her way down my jaw, my shoulders, my chest.
I shivered with each kiss, each touch. The burns were something I tried so hard to forget, to not even look at, and having her attention on them felt heavy, but made all of this even more real for me because I was letting her do this. I wanted her to do this and I believed her when she called me all of those things. I waited until she straightened again before grabbing both of her breasts into my mouth. She threw her head back with a loud moan, saying my name as she inched closer. I pulled away and positioned her with her back on the bed again. Normally, I would have taken her from behind, and maybe I would later, but right now in this moment I wanted nothing more than to see her face as I slipped into her. My cock was throbbing as it made its way through her folds and into her slowly. She gasped with each bit I slipped in, her back arching when I completely filled her. Our eyes met briefly, for a moment, and then I started to move, fucking her fast, hard, deeply, letting her feel every single part of me the way I felt her pussy gripping my cock. When we came, it was with each other’s names spilling from our mouths and I couldn’t imagine a more perfect end to an evening.
“I’m clean,” I said, later, when we were lying in bed.
“So am I,” she said. “And on the pill.”
“Maybe next time . . . ”
“Next time?”
“You can’t think this is the only time.” I glanced over at her. “Do you want it to be the only time?”
“No. I don’t know.” She bit her lip. “I guess I wasn’t really thinking about it.”
“I definitely want to do this again.” I kissed her and pulled her close. “Stay the night.”
She nodded, letting out a shuddering breath, and I shut my eyes, drifting to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Joslyn
He’d asked me to stay and I did, but still left before sunup. I couldn’t bear the thought of things being awkward between us today. We had nothing to blame it on. Neither one of us were drunk. We weren’t teenagers. We weren’t dumb.
I’d just finished drying my hair when I heard the knock on my door. The sound and the anticipation making my heart launch into my ears. I walked slowly toward it, willing myself to calm down, unable to at the thought of having to face Aramis so soon after I’d left his cottage. When I opened the door, it was one of the maids on the other side, her eyes cast down to the floor as to not disrespect me. I hated that the staff was like this, so cautious and careful not to look us in the eye, but I knew it was the former King and Queen Mother’s way. They believed the staff was not worthy of looking into their eyes. Even though the rule didn’t extend to my position, I hated it. Elias had done a lot to try to make them feel welcome, but the damage was done, and so, Adeline did everything she could to make them feel comfortable, much to the Queen Mother’s distaste.
“The Queen Mother wishes to have breakfast with you,” the young woman said.
“With me?” My confusion must have rung through in my voice because she finally looked up at me and nodded.
“She asked for you.”
“I’ll be right over.” I waited until the young girl walked away before closing the door and rushing to finish getting ready.
I hadn’t planned on seeing the Queen Mother at all today. I’d managed to avoid her at all costs last night during the wedding. Before then, she’d managed to avoid everyone else, choosing to dress quietly by herself in her wing of the palace and only opting to show up for photographs with Pilar and Ben. Even that had been awkward to see, the heavy silence that seemed to accompany her arrival. It was as though no one wanted to speak around her. No one wanted to invite any negativity around the wedding. I’d personally never had a problem with her. She’d always been very nice to me, cordial. She asked me about my family and how I was doing before getting down to business, and always smiled when she said goodbye. The Queen Mother wasn’t known for her small talk or being overly friendly, but she was just. She’d been welcoming with Adeline once she got past the idea that her son, the King, would be marrying a commoner. Before the drama with Aramis and the child she hid from him, she’d been very involved in Adeline’s pregnancy. I wondered how involved she was now. I wouldn’t be surprised if Adeline continued to keep in touch with her. It wasn’t like Addie to write people off, regardless of how big the mistakes they made were. It was something everyone admired about her. I shook myself off as I prepared to open the door and walk to the palace for breakfast with the Queen Mother. I’d never been nervous around her before, but I also wasn’t dating her son, her favorite son, the last time I saw her. Now that I was, I couldn’t quite shake the nerves.