Aiden stood perfectly still and I could hear the ticking of the wall clock.
“What do you mean?”
“He didn’t care if he got a beat down—the guy liked to get knocked out. He seemed lost in life, despondent, I asked him about it once. He told me he’d made the worst mistake of his life and there was no way he could fix it.”
“I was fifteen then. Basically what you’re saying is that he preferred death over being a father. Liam was only seven years old then, what could he possibly have done to deserve that?” I jumped off the bed, hands fisting at my sides. I was reeling, in instinct, I paced up and down his bedroom, following the patterns on the carpet.
“Hey, hey,” Aiden said. He stepped in front of me, his large hands grabbing me by the shoulder, holding me still. “Take a breath.”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to shake him off.
“I’m not letting you go, Erin.” He pulled me to him, his arms enclosing around my shaking body. “I’m never letting you go.”
“The man would rather die than parent Liam and I. You know how that feels?”
“I don’t know that’s how he felt. It just looked like he had a deathwish, observing from the outside.”
“He left us,” I sobbed, clutching onto Aiden’s shirt. “He didn’t ever look back to see what had become of us. My body went limp and would have crumbled to the floor had it not been for Aiden’s strong arms holding me tight.
“I got you,” Holden kept repeating. He swayed back and forth like a mother comforting a child. It comforted the devastated child inside me who’d been wounded by her parents’ choices.
“You say he’s not a bad man. But my whole life I’ve reconciled his actions by telling myself that he’s just a bad person. How could he leave us? He never even looked back to see what fate he’d abandoned us to.”
“Sometimes people make stupid decisions.”
“I get making mistakes, but he could have come back, he could have sent money, he could have brought us with him to Ireland, it couldn’t have been worse than what he left us to suffer. Did he never think of us again? How do you erase your own offspring from memory?”
“Why don’t you ask him?” Aiden asked. “Maybe talking to him would help.”
“What?” I asked, pulling away from him.
“I’ll call Caleb, tell him to come to the gym, and you can speak with him. Maybe get some of this straightened out.”
I didn’t know what to feel, or if I ever wanted to open that door again. Subject Liam to another possible loss, or subject myself to one more soul crushing disappointment.
“I don’t know if I can,” I told Aiden in response.
“Erin, you have to know. One way or another, it’s better to know than to carry that grudge. You have any idea what I would give to be able to ask my mother all the questions I have? At least your father is still alive and could possibly give you some answers.”
I knew Aiden was right. No matter what his reasons might be, I needed to hear them from him. Otherwise, I’d walk through my entire life carrying this burden. I wanted to be done with it, even if closure could mean more pain.
“Ok,” I nodded. “I’ll speak to him.”
“Erin,” Aiden said. He pulled my face up so he could look me in the eyes. “I love you.”
I’d come this far with no one to hold me up but myself. Years of wishing I could someday know the gift of unconditional love. Their neglect had made me believe I was unworthy. But standing beneath his gaze, I felt reborn. My connection to Aiden gave me strength and compassion. Maybe his words came too fast, but I felt it too. And the woman in his arms was the woman I wanted to be. Aiden McCarthy, in a twist of fate, had become the love I’d always needed.
“I love you, too” I whispered.
He gently pushed me back on the bed. I was sore and didn’t know if I could handle his huge cock again. He kissed my neck and my shoulders, simultaneously tickling me and turning me on. Before I knew which way was up, my pussy was wet for him all over again. He suckled on one nipple as he flicked the other. I wrapped my legs around his massive thigh and rubbed my slick pussy on his quadriceps.
Then his kisses traveled lower and my legs spread open before him without my brain getting involved.
“So pretty, and so damn wet,” Aiden said as he caressed my folds.
He lowered his head to my pussy and took an all-consuming lick. My back arched, I clutched the sheets as his tongue found its way inside me. Alternating between flicking my clit and fucking me with his tongue, he reached up and pinched my nipples and it sent me flying over the edge. His stubble grazed my thighs as I came on his mouth. He didn’t let up until I screamed.