My blood ran cold. I knew what addicts were capable of, living with my own drug-fueled mother.
"Did anyone touch you," I asked, jumping the gun. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle hearing it, but I could feel the rage ready to spring forth and break out of me. That kind of anger was perfect for a fight, but here in my kitchen, it was hard to take. Not being able to protect those I loved was by far my greatest fear. My hands balled into fists in preparation for what I might have to hear.
"What?" she asked. Her lips trembled, and her eyes pooled with tears ready to stream down her face.
"Did anyone ever touch you?" I asked again. "Were you ever sexually assaulted?"
"No. I was mistreated. Some of Mom’s guy friends abused us, emotionally, physically, verbally, for sure. But thank god, none of them ever touched us like that."
"You sure they didn't touch Liam?" I asked.
"No, I asked him many times. He swore it never happened to him. I tried to shelter him as much as possible, but he wouldn’t lie about that. You can ask him yourself."
Relief flooded my bloodstream, causing me to take a breath and relax. I wasn't sure what I would do if I had to hear that Erin and Liam had been abused. It was hard to process that confession from anyone, let alone the woman who you were falling in love with. It wasn’t like I could fly to the States to track every one of those lowlifes down, beat the living shit out of them and exact revenge. But that sure as hell was the sentiment.
"Aiden. I swear nothing like that happened. Mom doesn’t deserve a lot of props for parenting, but she never resorted to selling sex for drugs and she kept us clear of that particular horror. Sure, we got knocked around, yelled and demeaned, but Mom never let anyone take advantage of us like that. I guess in a lot of ways we were lucky. "
"But she let them lay hands on you," I mumbled under my breath.
"She was an addict. She didn't know what she was doing. Mom was either strung out or too high to care what we were doing. When I finished high school, I went to college near home so that Liam could come with me. Basically, from the age of eighteen, it was just the two of us against the world." She smiled a little when she said it. It was clear how much she loved her younger brother and there was strength in those memories.
"Why did you come here without him?" I asked. The initial separation must have been hard for them, Liam especially as Erin basically functioned as his parent.
"I came to get settled first. Liam stayed with his best friend after I left; he came here a few months later. There was no way I'd have left him there alone."
"Have you contacted your father yet? Do you know where he is?"
"Not yet," she said. For all he knows, he left us to die with Mom.
“Do you really think he would have left if he believed that?”
“It doesn’t matter. The unchangeable fact is that he left us.”
“Let’s eat before this food gets cold,” I said, taking a bite.
"This is amazing, by the way. Does everything you touch turn to gold?"
She smiled at me as she put a bite of food in her mouth, her large eyes taking me in. Erin had a hold on me that I didn't ever want to break. I knew she’d had enough heavy talk, opened up as much as she could, and I didn't want to push it. Tonight was for her to enjoy, not agonize through it.
"Wouldn't you like to know," I said with a smirk.
“I think I’d like to find out,” she whispered. “You make me feel safe, Aiden, something I haven’t felt in a long time.”
Hearing those words meant so much to me.
“Are you sure?,” I asked. “Once we cross that line there is no turning back. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything.”
“I don’t feel an obligation, Aiden. I want to be with you. You already feel like home to me.”
I reached out and brushed a lock of shiny chestnut hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Holding her delicate chin between my thumb and forefinger, I worshiped her mouth. Her lips were full and pink and eager for my tongue. I wanted to taste her all over, make her curse my name as she came in my mouth.
I felt her nipples harden as they brushed against my chest.
“Take me upstairs, Aiden,” she whispered shyly.
I pulled back and looked into her face. Her eyes were hooded, already drunk on desire.
“We should probably, ah, well, I should tell you I haven’t been with anyone for a very long time. I don’t do casual sex. And I’ve got a clean bill of health.”