Or at least how I imagined it would be before Keir had moved in.
“I haven’t ridden a horse in years,” I finally answered.
“Good thing you’ve got me to teach you, then,” Keir coaxed, leading me to a black and grey horse.
“We could try bareback?” His words in my ear sent a thrill through me.
“Bareback?” I breathed. I could feel the mix of adrenaline and desire swirling between us. First thing in the morning, the middle of the day, late at night. It didn’t matter what time it was, Keir near me always wreaked havoc on my body.
“Afraid?” he whispered.
“No. Well...sort of.”
“Of what?” Keir pulled me against him, forcing me to turn and meet his gaze.
“Of you.”
* * *
I tossed and turned in bed later that night. Thoughts of us on the dance floor, his tongue darting between my breasts and making me wild for him felt like just moments ago. I wanted more of him, and was chastising myself for letting it go as far as it did.
I was a jumbled mess when my thoughts came to Keir.
I would never fit into his life. I would always be his peasant girl.
Or until he was sick of me, at least.
Both his friend and his uncle had made it sound like I was just another piece of ass in his life, but that didn’t seem like him. Only the tabloid version he served to the public, the version of him they thought they wanted.
But where did I fit into a life like that?
Nowhere.
I pushed out of bed then, careful to creep out of my door and down the hallway. I didn’t pause to see if Keir was asleep on the couch, only pushed open the front door, desperate for some fresh air.
“Hey,” he breathed.
“Oh! Hey—sorry to interrupt. I’ll head back to bed, I just needed some fresh air.”
“Stay, Anna.” My name on his lips was new. I lived for the way it sounded with his soft accent. He slid his hand along the bench next to him, indicating I sit beside him.
I sat, curling my legs underneath me.
“I could hear you tossing and turning. Did you have a nightmare?” He watched me with concern. I nodded. Shadows cast by the trees made for an eerie landscape.
“Do you have them a lot?”
“A big one lately,” I teased.
“Is it because...?” He sucked his lip between his teeth. I ached to run my tongue along it.
I looked away. He was wondering if what we’d done earlier had caused the nightmare. If I was having regrets about everything that had happened between us in the last day.
“I don't want what happened between us to be weird, Cricket. It doesn't have to be,” he said as he slid his hand out and let one finger caress my knee.
“I know. But it is.”
“I know that you probably think?”
“You don't know what I’m thinking. I don't even know what I’m thinking,” I said more to myself than him. What I did know was what I’d experienced with Keir earlier that night was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The emotions that ran between us, the connection we shared, were profound and left me reeling. It felt like he’d unlocked a new and previously undiscovered piece of my heart.
He watched for a moment then turned away. He left his hand next to my thigh, one finger caressing the flesh. My brain couldn't focus on anything except that barest of touches. I wished it could be simple, but it wasn’t. We’d made headlines together today, my name and face out for everyone to see.
“Do you think we can go back to how we were?” I looked up at him, the moonlight washing across his face highlighting the angle of his jaw, the line of his nose, and his full lips.
“I don't want to.” His words bit. “Why would I want that?”
My mouth dropped open in surprise. “But I don't want to lose you as a friend,” I murmured as painful tears pricked my eyelids.
“That's not what I meant.” He looked at me with a set jaw and searing eyes.
“What do you mean?” I whispered. His eyes cut into me and I couldn't avert my gaze if I tried. Keir had me. The energy that passed between us was palpable. My heart thudded in my chest and I swallowed a lump that had settled in the back of my throat.
“I want you, all of you, Cricket. For tonight, tomorrow—I want you here because I can’t picture this place without you anymore.” His words blazed a path straight to the pit of my stomach. My heartbeat thundered in my ears and drowned out the roaring wind.
“What?” The word escaped in a breathless rush.
“I want you.”
“I thought that we were...that it was only?”
“Sex? Revenge? No, Cricket. It wasn't and I should have known it wouldn't be. It could never be just friends between us.”