I wasn’t sure. Adamo had assured me his family would accept me. They weren’t as traditional as the other Italian mob families. After all, their Enforcer was married to an Outsider, which if you looked at it, was a bigger risk than having a relationship with someone from an adverse crime organization. I’d been brought up in a world of violence and bound by strict rules. I knew how to keep a secret, no matter how dark. I could lie into the face of a police officer without batting an eye. Even if Adamo and I had been brought up on different sides, our lives were similar. “I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it, but that’s my problem, not yours.”
Dad stood and grabbed my shoulders gently, his smile wistful but his eyes were relentless. “I’ll do whatever’s necessary to protect you, Katinka. Don’t force my hand.”
I didn’t doubt for a second that Dad would kill Adamo. He wanted to protect me at all costs. That he wouldn’t step on the Outfit’s toes by doing so was a side-effect not the reason. “You’re trying to make up for the past because you couldn’t protect me from my mother and the men who molested me, but you can’t undo what’s happened, and certainly not by ruining my life now.”
Dad’s fingers tightened around my upper arms. “You have Dima. You two were happy together. If you want to protect Adamo, you’ll stay. He’s young. He’ll find a new love, someone he can actually be with. Or do you actually think you can live in Las Vegas with him?”
Las Vegas was out of the question, would always be, but Adamo didn’t want to live there either.
Yet…
“Katinka, be reasonable,” Dad said softly. “Some things aren’t meant to be. If you miss racing, we can try to set something up.”
I tore away from his grip, unable to bear his closeness. Without another word, I stormed out of his office. My eyes burned but I didn’t cry. I almost bumped into Dima in the lobby. He must have waited for me and now he’d probably keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t leave the house. Red-hot fury sizzled in my veins. I charged toward the front door, determined to leave. I’d take a car, because Dad had probably given orders to all our pilots not to fly me anywhere.
I didn’t get far. Dima grabbed my forearm, jerking me to a stop. I whirled on him, furious and desperate.
I didn’t want to lose Dad, or Dima. I didn’t want to never see my half-brothers again either. But giving up Adamo? I wasn’t sure I could do it. “Let me go,” I hissed but Dima didn’t loosen his hold.
“Dinara,” he murmured imploringly, the voice that was usually balm on my anger. “Think before you act. Do you really want Adamo to die? Do you think he’d want to die for you?”
I froze.
“Would you want Adamo to insist on being with you if Remo threatened your life because of it? Would you die for a relationship that might not even last years?”
I didn’t even have to think about it. The answer rang loud and clear in my heart. Yes, I would risk my life to be with Adamo because I loved him and because he’d already done so much for me. Dima seemed to see the answer in my face because his expression fell but he still didn’t release me. “Are you sure his answer would be the same? He might have helped you get revenge but that never really posed a threat to his life. But if your Dad puts him on his death list, his days are counted.”
Few people survived for long if Dad wanted them dead. My mother had because of Remo Falcone’s intervention. Adamo had the Camorra at his back, but he was an easy target when he lived in camp, and Dad had made it clear he would risk war with the Camorra this time if necessary. My shoulders sagged. The idea of being separated from Adamo hurt but the fear of him being killed was even greater. Maybe Dad and Dima had a point. Adamo and I hadn’t been together for long, and the majority of the time we’d been too cowardly to even put a name to what we had. I couldn’t decide for Adamo to risk his life. No, I definitely didn’t want him to risk his life.
“I need to end it face to face, Dima. I won’t do it over the phone. That’s a bullshit move after everything he’s done for me.”
“Your father won’t allow you to return to camp. He suspects you might stay.”
“Talk to him. If I do it now, I’ll only make things worse. I’m too angry. Tell him you’ll make sure I’ll return.”
“I will make sure you return,” Dima said firmly. “Because if you don’t, your father will relieve me of my head. I really don’t want to die so you can traipse about with Falcone. Stay here. Don’t you dare run off.”