Yeah, so am I. I suck in a deep breath and tell her my darkest thought. “I need to know if Dad was loyal to the Riot.”
“Do you have any idea how to figure it out?”
“Skull mentioned there was a woman I could talk to, but I didn’t ask for her name and he didn’t give it. Might mean talking to Skull again.”
Violet snuggles closer, and as she does, I sink further until my head is on the pillow beside her. I’m not just holding her now, she’s also holding me.
“You need him to stay out of jail,” she whispers.
I guess I do. “He probably planned it this way. Probably told me this lie to buy himself a get-out-of-jail-free pass.”
“I’ve thought of that, but what if what they said is true? James lived in Louisville. He died there. He’s buried there. I’ve always thought that was weird, but if I asked—”
“You were shut down.” Just like I’ve been shut down by Cyrus, Eli and even my mom.
“Promise you’ll keep me involved,” she says. “Maybe knowing what’s happening, feeling like I have some sort of control over it, will help me feel normal again.”
Not sure if she’s talking about what the board has to say about the Riot or about my father, but I don’t care. She wants normal, so do I, and like in that basement, I’m going to fight for both of us. And like in that basement, I need Violet fighting for me, too. “I promise.”
“Do you remember when I first told you I loved you?” she asks.
The memory hits me like a jolt of electricity. I started my first varsity game that night, and I had scored two touchdowns. That entire night was a celebration. With the team, back at the clubhouse and then with just Oz, Razor and Violet.
We sat on the front porch laughing, talking, shooting the shit, enjoying my win because a win for one of us was a win for us all. Violet sat beside me and I memorized the way she laughed and the way her blue eyes kept finding mine. That smile she gave me when I held her gaze for longer than a second—best moments of my life.
Not soon after, we called it a night. Violet retired into this room. Razor, Oz and I to the room across the way. I waited for Oz and Razor to fall asleep and then I crept over here. I lay beside her, Violet held her hand out to me and then I kissed her.
That kiss—made the world spin. She melted into me, I fell deeply into her, and when our lips finally separated, she whispered those three beautiful words to me. Her trust in me, her love for me—rocked who I was and made me someone better.
“I remember.”
“Me, too.” Violet rests her head on my chest and her leg over mine. I wrap an arm around her, keeping her close, then tunnel my fingers into her hair.
Her fingers graze up and down my arm and her touch is comforting and intoxicating. My body pulses with the need to kiss her, but also with the need to just keep her close. Slowly her caresses come at a slower rate, her body becomes still and her breaths even out.
Best friend. Violet has always been my best friend, but it’s more than that. She’s always been a piece of me, and without her the world was cold—a bitter freeze that cut deep to the bone.
But I’m no longer in that freezing basement. She’s here beside me. Violet is warm and soft and all the two million thoughts in my mind stall out and there’s finally silence. A comfortable, peaceful silence.
Violet
PHYSICAL THERAPY STINKS.
Stinks.
Like pigs in mud.
Like milk that’s gone sour.
Like dog poop stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Stinks.
It’s not like I was a huge fan of treadmills and stationary bikes to begin with. Sweating’s not my thing. Also definitely not my thing? My knee being pushed and pulled and practically yanked off like it’s part of a turkey leg on Thanksgiving.
My physical therapy chick must be having some problems at home and she’s taking her pent-up aggression out on me. Note to self—don’t piss off my therapist. The lady is freaking sadistic.
Mom pulls her minivan into the parking lot of the only diner in our small town and I slowly turn my head in her direction. “What are you doing?”