Sliding the card through, I ease the door open. It’s quiet. Too quiet. No TV. No air conditioner running. My heart picks up speed. She’s gone. Damn it all to hell, Echo’s gone.
I race into the room, and Beth jumps off the bed and captures my arm. “Shhh. She finally fell asleep.”
Sure enough, with her hair sprawled out on the pillow, knees drawn to her chest, and in the same jeans and T-shirt as when we went to the party, Echo’s asleep. A lone red curl lies across her tearstained cheek. Each intake of air is an ache in my chest.
She’s so damned beautiful, and she’s still here. My legs wobble. I’ve still got an uphill battle, but at least there’s a hill to climb.
“Did she take anything to help her sleep?” I ask.
Beth surveys me like a boxer entering the ring. “Why would she take anything when crying herself to sleep works just fine?”
Point Beth. “I’m going to make this right.”
Isaiah grabs his pack and stuffs some of Beth’s clothes in it. “Let’s go, Beth. I got us another room.”
“Sounds good.” Beth continues to glare at me for another second before hitting my arm with her shoulder as she walks out. “Asshole.”
Looks like I’ll be groveling to two females, but the one on the bed is my main concern. The door to the room closes, and I inhale deeply, trying to figure out where it went wrong.
I hurt her. I hurt Echo, and I don’t know how to take away the pain.
In two steps, I fall to my knees by t
he bed, and her sweet scent hits my nose. Sleep is a gift to Echo. Not a promise. Every part of me begs to gather her into my arms, but I’ve lost all privileges.
Her lids slightly crack open, and the hollowness in her eyes rips at me. “Go back to sleep, Echo.”
Little lines form between her eyes. “I thought maybe I was dreaming you came in.”
“Do you want me to leave?” I hold my breath waiting for her answer.
Echo slightly rocks her head against the pillow in a no. “I want last night to have never happened.”
Me, too. If I could travel back in time and beat the hell out of the punk who permitted the hurt to control every decision, I would. “I didn’t sleep with her. Not since last year. And I swear to you I’ve been clean since January.”
The words are pouring out faster than they appear in my brain. “You want me to take a drug test to prove it, I will. I’ll take a hundred of them. I’ll take one every damned day. What happened last night was a mistake, and I’m sorry. I should never have been talking to her. I should have been with you. Here. Not at that party. I—”
“Stop it.” The words are harsh, but there’s no malice in her tone. “Just stop it.”
I bow my head, searching for the right way to convince her that she’s my entire world. That without her, I have nothing.
“I believe you didn’t sleep with her...this week.”
I wince, a blow straight to my stomach.
“As for the drugs, if you say you aren’t using, I believe that as well, but I’ve come to realize that I never asked if you were still using, and you never told me. In fact, I told you once that I wouldn’t pressure you to stop. Even if I want to be angry, I have no right to hold it against you if drugs were the reason you were with her tonight.”
It’s there. In her eyes. The disappointment I was so damned terrified of seeing after we made love. My throat swells, and I clear it to push forward. “I’m done. I swear to you, I’m done with all that.”
Echo curls tighter into her ball. “But that’s the thing. I fell in love with you for who you were. I can’t ask you to change because I want...” And she snaps her mouth shut.
My pulse pounds in my ears. “What do you want?”
Her lower lip trembles, and I swear to God she’s tearing out my heart.
“Just tell me.” Though I already know the answer.
“I want...I want more.”