"They believe in you as Caliph," said Ivan. "But more as the figurehead kind of Caliph who makes vague religious pronouncements and encouraging speeches, while you have wazirs and warlords to do all the nasty tedious work like making decisions and giving commands."
"How far does their control reach?" asked Alai.
"It's impossible to know," said Ivan. "Here in Damascus, your loyal servants have caught and eliminated several dozen agents. But I would not let you board an aircraft in Damascus--military or commercial."
"So if I can't trust Muslims, drive me over the Golan Heights into Israel, and let me fly on an Israeli jet."
"The same group that refuses to obey you in India is also saying that our accommodation with the Zionists was an offense against God."
"They want to start that nightmare all over again?"
"They long for the good old days."
"Yes, when Muslim armies were humiliated left and right, and the world feared Muslims because so many innocents were murdered in the name of God."
"You don't have to argue with me," said Ivan pleasantly.
"Well, Ivan," said Alai, "if I stay here, then someday my enemies will finish in India--either they'll win or they'll lose. Either way, they'll come here, made mad by victory or by defeat, it doesn't matter which. Either way, I'll be dead, don't you think?"
"Oh, definitely, sir. We do have to find a way to get you out of here."
"No plan?"
"All kinds of plans," said Ivan. "But they all involve saving your life. Not saving the Caliphate."
"If I run away, then the Caliphate is lost."
"And if you stay, then the Caliphate is yours until the day you die."
Alai laughed. "Well, Ivan, you've analyzed it well. So I have no choice. I have to go to my enemies and destroy them."
"I suggest you use a magic carpet," said Ivan, "as the most reliable form of transportation."
"You think only a genie could get me to India to face General Rajam?"
"Alive, yes."
"Then I must contact my genie," said Alai.
"Is this a good time?" asked Ivan. "With the madwoman's latest vid all over the nets and the media, Rajam is going to be a crazy man."
"That's the best time," said Alai. "By the way, Ivan, can you tell me why Rajam's nickname is 'Andariyy'?"
"Would it help if I told you that he chose the nickname 'thick rope' himself?"
"Ah. So it doesn't refer to his tenacity or strength."
"He would say it does. Or at least the tenacity of a particular part of his body."
"And yet...rope is limp."
"Thick rope isn't."
"Thick rope is as limp as any other," said Alai, "unless it's very short."
Ivan laughed. "I'll make sure to repeat this joke at Rajam's funeral."
"Just don't repeat it at mine."