"Unless our happiness is the high purpose."
"If our happiness is the purpose of God," said Alai, "why are so few of us happy?"
"Perhaps he wants us to have the happiness that we can only find for ourselves."
Alai nodded and chuckled. "We Battle School brats, we all have a bit of the imam in us, don't you think?"
"The Jesuit. The rabbi. The lama."
"Do you know how I find my answers? Sometimes, when it's very hard? I ask myself, 'What would Ender do?'"
Petra shook her head. "It's the old joke. 'I ask myself, What would a person smarter than me do in this circumstance, and then I do it.'"
"But Ender isn't imaginary. He was with us, and we knew him. We saw how he built us into an army, how he knew us all, found the best in us, pushed us as hard as we could bear, and sometimes harder, but himself hardest of all."
Petra felt once again the old sting, that she was the only one he had pushed harder than she could bear.
It made her sad and angry, and even though she knew that Alai had not even been thinking of her when he said it, she wanted to lash back at him.
But he had been kind to her and Bean. Had saved them, and brought them here, even though he did not need or want non-Muslims helping him, since his new role as the leader of the world's Muslims required a certain purity, if not in his soul, then certainly in his companionship.
Still, she had to offer.
"We'll help you if you let us," said Petra.
"Help me what?" asked Alai.
"Help you make war against China," she said.
"But we have no plans to make war against China," said Alai. "We have renounced military jihad. The only purification and redemption we attempt is of the soul."
"Do all wars have to be holy wars?"
"No, but unholy wars damn all those who take part in them."
"Who else but you can stand against China?"
"The Europeans. The North Americans."
"It's hard to stand when you have no spine."
"They're an old and tired civilization. We were, too, once. It took centuries of decline and a series of bitter defeats and humiliations before we made the changes that would allow us to serve Allah in unity and hope."
"And yet you maintain armies. You have a network of operatives who shoot their guns when they need to."
Alai nodded gravely. "We're prepared to use force to defend ourselves if we're attacked."
Petra shook her head. For a moment she had felt frustrated because the world needed rescuing, and it sounded as though Alai and his people were renouncing war. Now she was just as disappointed to realize that nothing had really changed. Alai was planning war--but intended to wait until some attack made his war "defensive." Not that she disagreed with the justness of defensive war. It was the falseness of pretending that he had renounced war when he was in fact planning for it.
Or maybe he meant exactly what he said.
It seemed so unlikely.
"You're tired," said Alai. "Even though the jet lag from the Netherlands is not so bad, you should rest. I understand you were ill on your flight."
She laughed. "You had someone on the plane, watching me?"
"Of course," he said. "You're a very important person."