Nikolai was standing on the lower bunk, so he was as close to Bean as possible, affirming the bond between them. "Come on, Fly," said Nikolai. "This is Bean, remember?"
And, to Bean's surprise, that silenced Fly. Until this moment, Bean had not realized the power that his reputation had. He might be just a regular soldier in Dragon Army, but he was still the finest student of strategy and military history in the school, and apparently everybody--or at least everybody but Wiggin--knew it.
"I should have spoken with more respect," said Bean.
"Damn right," said Fly.
"But so should you."
Fly lunged against the grip of the boys holding him.
"Talking about Wiggin," said Bean. "You spoke without respect. 'Everybody knows it's loser strategy to divide your army.' " He got Fly's intonation almost exactly right. Several kids laughed. And, grudgingly, so did Fly.
"OK, right," said Fly. "I was out of line." He turned to Nikolai. "But I'm still an officer."
"Not when you're dragging a little kid off his bunk you're not," said Nikolai. "You're a bully when you do that."
Fly blinked. Wisely, no one else said a thing until Fly had decided how he was going to respond. "You're right, Nikolai. To defend your friend against a bully." He looked from Nikolai to Bean and back again. "Pusha, you guys even look like brothers." He walked past them, heading for his bunk. The othe
r toon leaders followed him. Crisis over.
Nikolai looked at Bean then. "I was never as squished up and ugly as you," he said.
"And if I'm going to grow up to look like you, I'm going to kill myself now," said Bean.
"Do you have to talk to really big guys like that?"
"I didn't expect you to attack him like a one-man swarm of bee."
"I guess I wanted to jump on somebody," said Nikolai.
"You? Mr. Nice Guy?"
"I don't feel so nice lately." He climbed up on the bunk beside Bean, so they could talk more softly. "I'm out of my depth here, Bean. I don't belong in this army."
"What do you mean?"
"I wasn't ready to get promoted. I'm just average. Maybe not that good. And even though this army wasn't a bunch of heroes in the standings, these guys are good. Everybody learns faster than me. Everybody gets it and I'm still standing there thinking about it."
"So you work harder."
"I am working harder. You--you just get it, right away, everything, you see it all. And it's not that I'm stupid. I always get it, too. Just . . . a step behind."
"Sorry," said Bean.
"What are you sorry about? It's not your fault."
Yes it is, Nikolai. "Come on, you telling me you wish you weren't part of Ender Wiggin's army?"
Nikolai laughed a little. "He's really something, isn't he?"
"You'll do your part. You're a good soldier. You'll see. When we get into the battles, you'll do as well as anybody."
"Eh, probably. They can always freeze me and throw me around. A big lumpy projectile weapon."
"You're not so lumpy."
"Everybody's lumpy compared to you. I've watched you--you give away half your food."