He moved so fast she had no time to brace herself. He slammed her down on the bed, leaning over her, vibrating with rage. “Don’t say it,” he warned her, his voice low and dangerous. “I’m not playing this game anymore. Tell me where the fucking urn is, or you’re not going to like the way I make you.”
His hands were on her shoulders, pinning her to the bed, and she felt panic rise inside her. It was nothing like before, so long ago—then it was sugary sweetness and presents and touches that hurt.
“Let go of me.” She spoke in a whisper so quiet she thought he wouldn’t hear. But he did. He stared down at her for a long, thoughtful moment.
And then he pulled back, moving away from her, turning his back. She was shaking. Too hard, and she couldn’t stop. It wasn’t the same, it wasn’t…
“What happened to you?”
His voice broke though her terrified mantra, startling her. He’d turned again, and in the early glow of daylight suddenly she was even more frightened.
But he wasn’t the one who frightened her. What terrified her was her own incomprehensible longings.
“Answer me.” His voice was short, sharp. “What happened to you? Did your lover rape you?”
“No!” she protested. “He loved me. He would never have hurt me.”
“Then who did this to you?”
She didn’t want to understand his question. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you ever tell the truth?” He sounded both annoyed and weary. “Someone hurt you.”
“That was a long time ago. I don’t even think about it anymore.”
“Sure you do. Whether you know it or not, it’s part of your life. Every day. Didn’t Hana Hayashi protect you?”
“Of course she did!” Summer’s defense was an immediate response. “It happened before…” The words trailed off.
“You were six years old when Hana started taking care of you.”
“Yes.” Summer waited for the pity and disgust to fill his face. She went on before he could say anything. “It’s no great tragedy—young girls are molested all the time. I’m over it. And Hana made sure it never happened again.”
“Who?”
She shook her head. “I don’t even know. A friend of my mother’s. I was supposed to call him Uncle Mark. He was old and hairy and smelled like cigar smoke. I don’t like cigars.” Her voice was almost eerily calm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d talked about this. Scott had never known the details, just that he needed to be very very gentle with her. Lianne didn’t want to hear, despite her brave attempts to explain what happened in the best way a six-year-old could.
“No, I imagine you don’t,” he said.
“He brought me presents,” she said. “Pretty pink dresses and colored balloons. And he hardly touched me. I just had to…watch him.”
“Would you like me to kill your mother?” Taka might have been asking if she wanted milk in her coffee.
It was her turn to be shocked. “She doesn’t know.”
“Bullshit. She knew what she was doing, leaving you alone with him.”
“Well, she’s forgotten about it.” Summer pulled the shreds of her self-control back around her. “And I told you, it was a long time ago. Hana made sure I was protected, and in turn I protected my little sister. I’m a normal, healthy woman.”
“Who dresses in black and white and only had one unsatisfactory lover.”
“He wasn’t unsatisfactory!”
“If he was any good you would have had others.”
“I told you I wasn’t looking for love!”
“You told me you weren’t looking for sex.”