She was cold, she was hot, the covers were too light, then too heavy, and she could feel Bastien around her, like an embrace, his scent teasing her as she fought her way deeper into sleep. She didn’t want to dream, she didn’t want to remember, all she wanted was warmth and darkness.
Somewhere in the distance a church bell tolled four. She should get up and close the window, but she was finally warm, and surely she could manage to fall asleep again. In the morning, in the daylight, she could face things again. In the darkness all she could do was hide.
Something didn’t feel right. Small wonder—there was very little that was right in her life, and thinking about it wouldn’t help. Only time and daylight would make things better.
She shifted on the thin mattress, tugging the duvet up around her chin, reaching for Bastien’s stolen coat to wrap around her as well, one more layer against the cold.
But the coat wasn’t there—she’d left it lying across a chair. She opened her eyes in the darkness, only to see Bastien himself sitting on the floor beside her, leaning against the wall, watching her in utter stillness.
13
For a moment she thought she was still asleep, her nightmare come to life, and she told herself it was just a dream. When he spoke, his voice was low and calm in the darkness.
“You’re lucky you’re still alive,” he said softly.
She wasn’t going to argue with him about that, though she was tempted. She lay very still, not moving, hoping he’d just fade away. But he was distressingly real and solid, far too close to her. “How did you find me?” she finally asked. “And how did you get in?”
He didn’t move from his spot against the wall. His long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed, and his hands lay in his lap. “I told you, it wouldn’t take them any time at all to find you. I was faster, but it won’t be long before they catch up with us.”
“With us?”
He cocked his head, looking at her. “I have a tendency to finish what I started. You’ve missed one plane, but I’ll get you out on the next one, if I have to knock you out, tie you up and ship you in a trunk.”
She reached out to turn on the light beside her bed, but he stopped her, his hand catching her wrist, and she jerked back, knocking the lamp over as she did so.
“We don’t need lights,” he said. “That was the one smart thing you did, leaving the lights off when you came back. When they come for you a little darkness won’t stop them, but you were wise not to draw undue attention to yourself.”
“Maybe I just turned off the lights when I went to bed?”
“I was here before you arrived looking like the little match girl. I decided a few hours’ sleep wouldn’t do you any harm. But you stole my coat—I’ve been freezing.”
“Tough,” she said. She didn’t ask where he’d been, what he’d seen. There was nothing she could do about it at this point, but if he’d been watching her as she bathed, as she hacked off her hair and examined the marks on her body she wouldn’t be happy. Better not to know.
He’d helped himself to her wine—the bottle and a glass sat on the floor beside him. She had no idea how long he’d been there, how long she’d been sleeping.
“Why did you
change your mind?” she asked abruptly. She pulled the covers up to her chest and slid away from him to sit in the corner. And then she realized her fingers were clutching his coat, and she dropped it.
“Changed my mind?” he repeated.
“About me. I had a lot of time with Monsieur Hakim, and he enjoys talking while he hurts people. If it hadn’t been for you he wouldn’t have known I’d been looking on the Internet. He wouldn’t have thought I was anything other than what I am.”
“Anything other than what you are? And what’s that?” He didn’t wait for her answer. “Once Hakim decided not to trust you there was nothing I could do to stop it. Showing him your clumsy tracks through the computer only sped things up.”
“So what made you change your mind and come to save me?”
“I didn’t.”
She was cold, so cold, but she didn’t reach for his coat. “Then why were you there? Had you just come to watch?”
He shrugged. “I was surprised you were still alive. Hakim must have been enjoying himself more than usual, to have barely touched you.”
“Barely touched me?” Her voice rose, and he moved so fast he was a blur in the darkness, his hand over her mouth, silencing her as he held her against the wall. He’d held her against another wall, not that long ago, and she wondered what he was going to do.
“Don’t raise your voice,” he said, his eyes staring into hers in the darkness. So close. “Try not to be as stupid as your behavior suggests.”
He moved his hand away and she was silent, looking up at him. Waiting for him to touch her. He was going to kiss her, and she wasn’t sure what she was going to do about it.