Two days pass and like promised, I get the letters in the mail. I had the front office at the apartment call me as soon as they were signed for. I left early because I’m anxious as fuck. After I park, I sit in my truck and try to get my mind right because no matter what happens, this won’t change the way I feel about Lennon. Realizing I’m being a complete pussy about this, I force myself out of the truck, go to the office, and grab the envelope, but I don’t open it. I can’t find the strength to do it, so I text Lennon. Though I know she’s in class and won’t see my text immediately, I still send it.
Hunter: I got the results. Should I wait for you?
I immediately get a text back.
Lennon: Yes! I want to be there for you the same way you’ve always been there for me. I’ll try to get out of my last class, which means I can be home around two since I won’t have to pick up Allie yet.
I smile. I love her so fucking much it hurts. Considering I’m so goddamn antsy, I decide to go to the gym until Lennon comes home. There’s no way I can sit around the apartment and wait. I might literally go crazy. When I get to the gym, I do heavy squats until my legs feel like they’re going to fall off, then finish on the treadmill. I try to get lost in the music, in the pain, in anything other than what’s running through my head. Nearly two hours pass and I get a text from Lennon letting me know she’s on her way home. They found a substitute to cover for her, and apparently, it wasn’t a big deal at all.
The envelope nearly burns a hole in the seat where I placed it. As I pull up to the apartment, Lennon arrives at the same time. She walks toward me and holds my hand as we head down the sidewalk.
Once we’re inside the apartment, we sit at the kitchen table and both stare at it.
“You open it,” I say, sliding it closer to her. “Open it and tell me.”
“Are you sure?” She lets out a breath and grabs it, and that’s when I notice her hands are shaking.
“I’ll do it,” I tell her, and she hands it over to me like it’s poison in her palm. Shaking my head, I rip it open and pull out the papers. On top is the paternity test result, and at the bottom, it says NO MATCH. I instantly smile.
“I knew it!” I tell her, handing her the paper. “I fucking knew it!”
Lennon reads it and immediately stands, then sits on my lap with tears in her eyes. Our lips crash together, and I get lost in her touch.
“I’m so relieved,” she tells me, her shoulders falling.
“Me too, sweetheart. And now it’s out there, and everyone knows. Even Jenna. I’m sure we won’t be hearing from her ever again.” I sigh.
“Better not.” Lennon’s nose brushes against mine. “I feel bad for her, though. I do. I hope she finds the real father, and she can get the closure she needs.”
“Yeah, she’s not a bad person. She’s just lost,” I say.
She turns and notices the other papers on the table. “What’s this?”
I turn her toward me, my eyes meeting hers. “I wanted to see if anything has changed with my sperm count, and they did the testing there, so I went for it.” I shrug.
She frantically searches my face. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get your hopes up because I’m sure nothing is different from five years ago, but now that I have you, I wanted to know for certain.”
“So there’s a chance?” she asks, sounding hopeful, and it nearly destroys me. She notices me swallow hard. “Hunter.”
My eyes meet hers again. “I don’t know.”
I’ve been tested twice, but it’s been so long I honestly don’t know if it can be reversed at this point. After the initial results, I did some research about low sperm count and how men can increase it naturally with better nutrition, avoiding certain medications, drinking less alcohol, and eating less processed foods. The first test was done in college when I played football and trained hardcore year round, which was another suggestion to avoid.
Later, I did the physical exams to make sure it wasn’t cancer or a genetic disorder, which were all clear. I always figured when the time came, and I was ready to have kids, I’d do more tests and anything to increase my chances. This test will be the first step in deciding how we move forward.
Lennon presses her hands on either side of my face, cupping my cheeks so sweetly. “I’ve already accepted it and so have you. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you. At all. But knowing will help us either way.”