“It does matter,” I manage to say. “There wasn’t a time in my life I didn’t think about you as much as I didn’t want to think about you.”
“You left…” he reminds me. “You didn’t give me the chance to even fight for us. I would’ve fought, Savannah. So fucking hard.”
The tears come thicker now, heavy as they blur my vision. “I left for you, Hayden. I couldn’t let you change your life plans for me.” I want him to understand, to realize it wasn’t an easy decision. There was no closure for me, which hurt the most.
“Why the fuck not?” He leans back on his knees, keeping my legs up in the air. My back arches, feeling him so damn deep, I nearly lose myself right then. Suddenly, he drops my legs and they land with a smack. Hayden leans over me, his mouth inches from mine. “You were my goddamn life. Didn’t you know that?”
“Yes!” I nearly scream in his face, his thrusts never wavering, still rough and deep and unforgiving. “That’s why I couldn’t let you give up your future for me. I knew you would, and I couldn’t live with that. You deserved to do what you loved just as much as I did.”
“So lying was your answer? Making me believe my girl had left me for someone else? Making me think I was nothing to you after all our history together? That’s what you thought was right?” His words are firm, his jaw tense, and eyes dark. I want to reach up and kiss him, to show him how sorry I am. Prove to him I never wanted to hurt him.
“I was a kid, Hayden,” I tell him. “I did what I thought was right at the time. We had two different paths ahead of us. No matter what, one of us was gonna have to sacrifice for the other if we wanted to stay together. I couldn’t allow either of us to do that and risk resentment. I was torn. Can you try to understand that I did what I felt was right at the time?”
I feel the buildup coming, my body so close to release. He looks at me with so much heat, the anger in his eyes fades slowly. I want to make love to him over and over again, prove how much I loved him—still love him.
“And what about now, Savannah?” he asks gruffly. “What do you feel now?”
I bite my lower lip, then release it, keeping our gazes locked. My body tightens, pussy clenching, ready to fall deeper into the abyss with him.
“I feel you. All of you.”
Chapter Ten
Hayden
Having Savannah again after all these years is indescribable.
Pent-up anger drives my moves as I fuck her harder, filling her to capacity, wanting to remind her who she belongs to.
Me. It was always supposed to be me.
After Donny contacted me and told me Savannah had lied about seeing someone, part of me was relieved she hadn’t cheated, but the other part was madder than ever. If that wasn’t the reason, then why the fuck did she leave me?
Was I not good enough? Love her enough? Show her how much I cared for her?
I was only a kid at the time. Eighteen. I thought I knew everything.
We’d get through college, she’d move back, I’d propose, and we’d get married.
Then we’d fuck every chance we got and make a dozen babies. Have the perfect house with the perfect wife and everything would be bliss.
I was delusional.
She left and never returned, and it felt like my life was over. I can’t even count how many times Hunter stopped me from flying to New York to win her back. Dozens.
Or the number of times he had to talk me off the ledge while I drank myself stupid.
Hunter was only thirteen and had to witness what true heartbreak looked like. Looking back, I feel awful that he witnessed me in that state. As he matured, he went through chicks faster than he changed his clothes. Part of me always wondered if it was my fault.
Now seeing things in a new light, I think it is.
Now his heart is shattered between loyalty and love.
The Manning brothers couldn’t get their shit together if we tried. Thanks to our lying bastard of a father and his affair, and the way he portrays our family to the media, we don’t trust for shit either. With him being a senator, we had to keep his secrets and cover up his lies. Dealing with that on top of Savannah breaking my heart messed me up for a really long time.
But that changes now. I’m not letting her walk out of my life again.
“And what about now, Savannah?” I ask, feeling her tight pussy clench around my dick. Fuck, she feels incredible. I could pull out and come all over her perfect tits, but I’m not ready. I want, no, need more of her. “What do you feel now?”