But would the girls be waiting for her? Or were they just waiting for their father to return? Again Jennifer was struck with the thought that she really had no idea of the part she played in this family’s life. Was she a necessary part? Was she superfluous? Was she simply a novelty which would wear off later?
The desire to be with them all—including the extended family of Iris and Ian—was overwhelming and for the first time in her life she desperately wanted to be needed. Sitting down on a nearby chair, she realised she was shaking and knew if she didn’t pull herself together she wouldn’t be able to perform any surgery, even if she wanted to.
A wave of tiredness swamped her. Tiredness from working herself so hard, of always needing to push, to work her way to the top. It was then, and only then, she acknowledged she hadn’t really stopped for the past eight years—not since Arturo’s death.
She’d used work as a means of getting through her grief and in the process she’d lost herself…until she’d met Jasper. Another wave of fatigue washed over her. This time her stomach began to churn and she realised she probably should eat something.
At the knock on the change-room doors, Jennifer looked up, then stood up. Before she could take a step, she could hear the beeping of the combination buttons being pressed and a second later the door clicked open.
‘Jennifer?’
It was Jasper.
‘Jen? Are you all right?’
She walked out to where he could see her and when he saw she was still in her incredible dress, he smiled. ‘Need some help with the zip?’
Jennifer shook her head, then wished she hadn’t as the room started to spin. She wasn’t sure whether she actually said something or whether Jasper had been watching her closely, but in the next instant he was beside her and holding her firmly in his arms.
‘I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Here, sit down.’ He led her back to the chair and forced her to sit. He pressed a hand to her forehead. ‘You’re warm. Do you feel sick?’
‘I’ll be fine.’ But even as she heard herself speak, her throat dry, her voice cracking on the last word, Jennifer realised she wasn’t at all fine.
‘What happened? It’s only been five minutes since I left you.’
She looked up at him and was surprised to see two images of him swimming before her eyes. ‘I stopped.’
‘Stopped what?’
‘I stopped. I’ve been going…’ she panted ‘…for so long. I’ve been in survival mode for eight years and just, well…I just…I stopped.’ She tried to shake her head again but the nausea which rose up was worse than before.
‘Right. That’s it. I’m getting you home.’
‘No.’
‘Yes.’ His tone was firm and brooked no argument. ‘You’re not well, Jen, and you’re exhibiting symptoms of the dreaded lurgy that has been sweeping its way through the hospital.’
‘Don’t come close.’ Even she couldn’t believe how bad she felt, but the last thing she wanted was for Jasper to get it from her.
‘You’ve got Buckley’s and no hope of that happening.’
‘You’ll get it.’
‘I have a strong constitution. Comes from hanging around with preschoolers.’
She could tell he was smiling as he helped her up. ‘I like it when you smile.’ The words were said softly as she leaned in to him. ‘I like the way you smell. Always nice.’
‘Good to know.’ Jasper tried to put her arm around his neck so he could support her as they walked out but realised that all of her strength had gone and she was definitely coming down with whatever it was. ‘Hold on, honey.’ He pressed a kiss to her forehead and realised her temperature was raised. ‘I’ve got you.’ With that, he swept her off her feet and carried her towards the door. She was lighter than he’d expected and thankfully he was able to navigate his way out of the female changing rooms with the orthopaedic head of unit cradled safely in his arms.
Jennifer wasn’t aware of much except that Jasper stopped to talk to someone. It might have been Maryanne, she couldn’t remember. Everything became fuzzy, taking on a dream-like haze, and before she knew it she was lying in her bed and someone was taking off her shoes.
‘Jasper?’
‘I’m here, Jen. Still here. Not going anywhere. Sit up, honey. I need you to swallow some tablets.’
‘No.’ Her head was heavy and her limbs felt like lead.
‘It’s just paracetamol. It’ll help. Trust me.’
‘Trust you?’ Jennifer opened her bleary eyes and looked at him. ‘I do. I trust you, Jasper. I love you, Jasper.’ She dutifully swallowed the tablets and after that all she remembered was closing her eyes and letting the sweet darkness of rest consume her.