He lifted a hand and waved at Abe, signaling he’d heard before he emptied his lungs of pent-up frustration and started walking toward the sluice.
Chapter Twelve
Maddie was sick and tired. Sick of the mud covering the floor, and tired of scraping it up. She was tired of gold, too. Smitty would think her crazy. No one could ever get sick of gold. She was, though, but having no idea exactly how much gold Lucky needed, she couldn’t stop.
“Just one more trip,” Tim bellowed as he walked in the door, “and we’ll quit tramping mud in your tent.”
She nodded as he walked to the foot of the bed, where Lucky had stacked the gold to be taken to town today. The trips to Bittersweet took place every three days, rain or shine, and for the past two days it had been rain. Again. It seemed the sun only came out every third day or so.
As if he read her mind, Tim announced, “Clouds are breaking up. I’d say we’ll have sunshine by midday.”
Maddie merely nodded again, not just because the man wouldn’t hear whatever she might say, but because she didn’t have anything to say. Even if the sun did come out, it most likely would rain again tomorrow.
As Tim exited, Lucky appeared in the open doorway. “The rain’s letting up. I could fashion a tarp over the back of the boat if you’d like to go with us.”
The longing to say yes added to Maddie’s gloom. “No,” she answered, turning back to the pans on the table waiting to be cooked down and separated. The days kept ticking by, and the end of each one brought her fear stronger to the surface. That of leaving. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but remembered it well. Whenever her stomach had started churning like it was now, doom was approaching.
It was as if she’d lost control over everything all over again. Like it used to be when she’d lived with Bass. No matter how much she begged or pleaded, he’d always leave.
Lucky hadn’t said what would happen once they left Alaska. She wanted to ask, but was afraid of his answer—that he’d go to his family and leave her. Leave her the first chance he got. That was what Bass had always done. She knew Lucky was thinking about it because whenever their leaving was brought up, all he’d talk about was the house she wanted to build. Her house, he called it. Not theirs.
In truth, that was the only part of going south that gnawed at her. Once she left Alaska, she’d no longer be safe. Neither would Lucky.
“There’re other people who can do that,” Lucky said.
“What?” she asked.
“Clean out the gold,” he answered.
She’d tried so hard to be invaluable to him, yet seemed to have failed in that, too. No matter what she did, from cooking to cleaning out the gold, there was someone else who could do it just as well. Better in most cases. “And rob us blind,” she said.
The door shut, but he hadn’t left; instead, his hands settled on her shoulders. His touch once so sweet and wonderful was now painful. Mainly because she missed it so much, and knew she’d miss it forever. Him forever. She shrugged off his hands and spun around.
His sigh echoed in her ears. “Why are you so suspicious of everyone again? No one will rob us. These men are more determined to gather gold than either of us.”
“Exactly,” she said. “They could pocket nuggets or decide to divide a cleanout between them if we’re both gone at the same time.”
“They wouldn’t do something like that. Tim and Albert can oversee things.” Taking her hand, he rubbed the back of her fingers with his thumb. “You’ve only gone to town a couple of times since we moved out here. Come with me today.” Tugging her a bit closer, he said, “We could spend the night there, come back tomorrow.”
Her heart fluttered at the thought of everything he was promising with his twinkling eyes. Maddie glanced toward the pans of gold on the table. Tim could clean it out. He helped her to do it every day. She could even wear her new yellow dress. Would have to, considering both the one she had on and the one waiting to be washed were crusted with mud. In town, she might even be able to sleep. Lately, every time she laid her head down old nightmares settled in. Terrible ones about Mad Dog finding her. They were worse now than ever. In these nightmares Mad Dog killed Lucky.
Escaping those dreams, if just for the night, would be heavenly. She was about to agree, to tell Lucky she would go to town with him, when he let go of her hand.