No morning run for Jason—he’d conference calls to make to the UK. Wednesday passed without incident, and I put aside my needy nature, his disappointment in my behaviour, and accepted he wasn’t going to punish or force me into a submissive place.
Welcoming him home in the evening, I asked how his day went, and he mentioned a few salient matters then asked about my activities with Joshua. At least we could talk about ordinary things.
After the meal, I offered to wash and massage his feet. He accepted graciously. When finished, I remained on the floor, clothed, as I wasn’t going to be accused of flaunting myself, and read quietly without trying to attract his attention.
The next morning, Eliza appeared for another jog about the park. I was polite, offering beverages, commenting on the inclement weather, and asking how her husband was doing.
“Oh
Vincent is good. Now. Has been ill with liver disease. He had an operation recently to remove a benign tumour. Scared us shitless, though, waiting for the results. Hopefully, he will be over the worst soon.”
A guilty lump descended my throat when she commented she normally ran with her husband, and his health problems had curtailed her exercise because she didn’t like running in the park on her own.
“Jason offered to join me. I’m such a coward when it comes to early morning runs.” She patted Jason’s arm as if to say thank you.
That evening, I asked if we could invite Eliza and her husband around on our last evening in New York.
“Typical British grub. I could cook for them. She liked my food last time she visited us in the UK.” I recalled a happier gathering when, on my own turf, I’d not felt threatened or out of sorts.
“Okay, if she has the time. I’ll ask if Vincent is able to join us, too. He is a recruitment consultant. Excellent head hunter. I’ve used him to find good managers.”
The icy atmosphere around us disintegrated. I slept better, woke refreshed and ready for adventure.
Friday, while Joshua slept in his buggy, I visited a few art galleries, each with its own style and uniqueness. The staff in attendance were helpful with my queries about attracting visitors and advertising. One owner in particular very generous with his time and information and offered me names of artists who were keen to exhibit in Europe. I scribbled down the details in my notebook.
Plans rocketed about my head and, while Joshua toddled about the apartment, I tracked behind him with the notepad and jotted down my ideas about exhibitions and garnering publicity.
When Jason arrived home, I was all ready to spew out my excitement before he had even taken his jacket off, but I remembered my place and asked him how his day had gone. He did enquire about my visits, as we set the dining room table together and he opened the wine bottle. I dampened down my enthusiasm and explained my findings in a concise fashion. He applauded my success with a brief kiss of my cheek. I swooned slightly as his lips brushed my skin.
The doorman announced the arrival of our guests over the intercom.
Vincent wasn’t well. You could see the loss of muscle and fat all about his body. His skin had a yellow pallor, too, and his wrinkles made him older in appearance than his actual years. Eliza, for all my criticisms she was unsympathetic and hard, kept a close eye on her husband. She demonstrated all the behaviours I had failed to show Jason at the beginning of the week: topping up his water, complimenting him on his working practices, and proudly praising his stoicism during his illness.
I fingered my diamond collar necklace, and it seemed to burn into my skin. She caught my eye, and I smiled in reply. She was a true friend of Jason’s, and I suspected she knew what Jason was in his private life. On previous occasions, she’d stared at my necklace and the J initialled padlock descending from the diamond-encrusted chain. I’d assumed she was calculating his value, which was significant. Perhaps, re-thinking her curiosity, she saw its value as less intrinsic and more symbolic.
In the kitchen, as I loaded up the coffee machine, without banging cupboard doors and clattering teaspoons, Eliza asked about my gallery plans. Although she lacked experience in the world of art, she admitted to being a fan of some artistic schools and wanted to know which of the galleries I’d visited might suit her tastes.
We chatted about different artists while sitting on the curved sofa, sipping our coffees. Jason discussed with Vincent the challenges of divesting unprofitable subsidiaries and the impact on the work force—enforced redundancies.
Jason, appearing more relaxed than I’d seen him all week, bemoaned the challenges. “To make so obvious somebody’s lack of ability in front of their colleagues, ticking off selection criteria and implying an employee with many years’ experience doesn’t have the same value as a recent recruit…it’s a demeaning practice, but necessary.” Jason sighed.
“It happens the world over, Jason. Don’t worry. Companies like mine pick up the pieces and hopefully give people a future,” said Vincent, his face sagging and his eyelids drooping.
A little after ten o’clock an attentive Eliza took home a pale-faced Vincent, and I was left with my husband, whose intentions towards me remained uncertain.
“Gemma, come here.” He waved me over to his chair. I knelt between his legs. “I want to say I’m pleased with you, especially tonight. You’ve done what I’ve asked. Kept focused on those about you. No bratty or sulky behaviour.”
“Thank you.” I glowed, filled with warmth at being back in his good books. I tentatively stroked his leg. “Please, I would ask you reconsider your withdrawal. I just…you do want this, don’t you? My submission? I haven’t…. You said if we stop, we’d start again from scratch. I couldn’t bear to think I ruined what we had.”
“Babe, you haven’t ruined anything.” He captured my hand and sandwiched it between his own. “I’m not perfect, and I think you forget that sometimes. No Dominant is, and we make mistakes, communicate badly, and create the wrong expectations. We both needed to step back and see what lies beneath, what existed when we were vanilla. I’ve longed all week for you and held back from dominating, and you’ve been submissive without my asking. It’s there, babe, all the time in us both.”
“I was mad at you then disappointed in my behaviour.” I rested my head on his lap. “It’s been a confusing week.
“It will never end between us, Gem. What changes is what we wrap around it—parents, jobs, these will all interfere, but none of them will change us.”
“What now? I want to show you my submission beyond washing your feet.” I held my breath, waiting for my Master to return to me.
“I’m going to do what you’ve wanted me to do all week. You’re going to be a good girl and take it all.”