The warm water lapped around us, as I lay in his arms with my back against his chest. He massaged my sore shoulders.
“Mmmmm. Nice,” I was relaxed if sore.
“Good. That was a very pleasurable fuck.”
“Are we going to bed now?”
“No. You said you wanted to go longer, so we will,”
Oh, I did say that, didn’t I? He had a good memory for my utterances.
I was dry and kneeling again in front of the divan. We had taken on refreshments: water and biscuits. It had helped give me a second wind.
He was sitting in front of me. Lifting my chin, he looked me in the eyes.
“I want to use you on that,” he pointed to the whipping bench. “Are you ready? No canes. No fucking. A paddle perhaps, time to start you back on it. We’ve avoided it for long enough.”
I could not describe the sudden angst that rushed through me, but I wanted so much to please him, so I smiled and nodded. Jason did not look convinced. He rubbed his chin for moment thinking.
“Come, stand.” He led me over to the bench. We stopped, right next to it.
“I’m not going to bind you or blindfold you. Just a few swipes with that thin paddle there.”
I looked at the implement, it certainly was not the meanest paddle that had ever struck me. My legs though had gone like lead and in my head was a memory, becoming vivid, almost too real. I shut my eyes and swallowed, it would not go away. I could feel my shoulders shake.
“What? What are you remembering?” Jason spoke gently in my ear. He held my upper arms to steady me.
“I’m seeing everything upside down. Like when you’re bent over the bench. Just his feet and the tip of the cane. He’s tapping on his legs.
“Go on,” Jason stood closer to me, his naked body brushed against my back.
“I can see my feet, such a crazy position to be in,” I laughed nervously. “If I peer up I can see more of him. He’s... he’s wanking himself. Such a big cock.”
“What bigger than mine?” Jason’s attempt to humour me did little to relieve my anxieties.
“Short and stubby,” I snorted. “Very wide, the widest cock I’ve ever had. It always needed me to be well prepared for him, really aroused to take him fully. I watch him lift the cane...” I sobbed.
“Babe, Gemma. Don’t torture yourself,” said Jason kindly.
“No, you see I’ve remembered something else. When I came to and I open my eyes, I’m looking upside down and I can see my legs. There was this trickle of blood running down one of them. My blood mixed with his.... I know what he’s done. He tore me to get in. The doctor told me I had been torn.” I was crying uncontrollably. Jason embraced me, my head under his chin. “I didn’t think I could ever fuck again. Then you came along and I felt this feeling inside me grow and you made me hot for it again. I had forgotten, blanked out the trauma of it all. But the bench, the sawhorse, I’m sorry, I cannot bend over it. It’s so like his... Please don’t make me...”
I turned and he held me in his arms as I shook. Bending down he picked me up and carried me out of the door straight to the bedroom. I was still naked.
“No more sex tonight. Sleep. Try not to dream.” He covered me with the duvet and climbed into bed next to me.
“I’ll get rid of it.” Jason stroked his finger down my arm. I took a sharp intake of breath. I looked at him, as he looked at me tenderly, not the stern master who punished me yesterday.
“You want to use it though, it is important to you. I can tell. Masters love their whipping horses,” I murmured to him.
“True. It is a favourite,” said Jason resting on his arm. “We can get another, different style. There are plenty to choose from, I can get one made especially for you,” he looked like an excited schoolboy for a moment. Perhaps he was right. There were several styles, the one he owned was the simplest, and I had been on others. Perhaps if I felt different lying on it, the memories would not haunt me.
“Yes, that sounds like a good idea, Jason,” I smiled at him. “Please will sir help me find a new whipping bench for your pleasure?” I curled up next to him.
“Oh I think we have a quest to find my dear subbie a new bench,” he looked delighted.
Sleep came to us both and I had no nightmares.
***