When he didn’t respond, she grabbed his arm, which was heavier than expected. She pulled him, but he hardly moved. “Get up. We can take you somewhere tonight.”
“Why the sudden concern?”
“Because you’re sick.” She blamed the Hippocratic Oath. “I took a vow to use every ability I possess to help the sick, and right now my best judgment is telling me to get you examined by an experienced doctor. So get up.”
He shifted, draping his legs over the side of the bed, but not standing. He stared at the floor.
“Why are you just sitting there?”
“Is it only an oath that binds you to help me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters.”
Her lips pressed tight. She didn’t want to admit the truth, but she also didn’t want to lie. “Fine. No. I want to help you. Call me crazy, but I think there might be some redeeming qualities in you.”
He looked up at her, his eyes peeking through loose strands of golden hair, and he smiled.
She looked away. “Don’t smile at me like that.”
“But you made me happy.”
“My only intention is to make you well.”
He caught her hand and brought it to his chest. Her breath hitched as a deluge of emotion poured into her, so fast and vast it tore down her walls and obliterated her defenses. She tried to pull back her hand, but his strength outmatched hers.
“Do you feel it?”
The sharp ache raced up her arm as he stared up at her with pleading eyes. “Let go, Adam. You’re scaring me.”
“Tell me what you feel.”
“Pain. Agony. Fear.” Untethering impulses barely contained, clawing to break free. He was fighting to maintain control and the battle was killing him.
“You can take it all away, Anna. Only you.”
“That’s not real, Adam. That isn’t how healing works.”
His hand tightened on hers, the rapid pounding of his heart thundering against her palm. “This is as real as it gets, Annalise. You can fix me. My soul knows yours. And if you let down your guard and trust that I’ll watch over you and protect you from harm, you’ll see that your soul recognizes mine, as well.”
Her head shook, her mind rejecting anything that stood on a foundation of blind faith. Love and hope didn’t fix people. Doctors did. And sometimes even they couldn’t.
“Please just let me take you to a hospital.”
She didn’t know why she was so upset. It was too familiar. Too bizarre.
“There’s so much cynicism in you, ainsicht. Why?”
She didn’t want to talk about this. “I’m sure there’s an ER nearby. I promise I won’t try to run.”
“Tell me what happened to you. Why are you so distrustful and angry with the world?”
Maybe he could feel her the way she felt him. “Let go.”
“You asked me for truth, and I gave it to you. Return the favor. Tell me who hurt you.”
Visions of falling to her knees at her mother’s grave and beating the loosened earth with her fists as she cursed her life flashed through her mind. She’d had one person in this world and He took her from her.
Her vision blurred, a solid lump forming in her throat. “This isn’t real. It’s just a dream.”
“We’re not dreaming anymore, ainsicht. I promise, this is real.”
“I want to wake up.” A tear tripped down her cheek.
“Tell me who hurt you. If this is just a dream, there aren’t any real consequences.”
Sucking in a jagged breath, she tried to deny her pain, but his overwhelmed her, making her weak and vulnerable. More tears fell. “God.”
His face paled. “God?”
She nodded and swiped at her eyes with shaky fingers. “So when you sit here and tell me all of this is happening because of some entity I despise, pardon me if I don’t want to believe you. God is cruel, Adam. The universe is unkind. And we’re only here for a fleeting second in time.”
“That’s not true.”
“How do you know?”
“I know.”
“How?” she snapped. “Have you ever lost someone? Have you ever suffered a loneliness so deep that you’d consider giving yourself to a complete stranger just to pretend for a second you’re not all alone in a world filled with over seven billion people?”
“You’re not alone, Anna.”
“I’ve been alone since I lost my mother.”
“No, ainsicht, God has a plan for you.”
“That’s right. I’m here with you, a stranger.”
He pressed his hand to her heart, mirroring the way her hand rested against his. Warmth tunneled through her and the knot in her chest loosened. “I’m not a stranger,” he whispered.
Déjà vu filled her and her senses opened wide. If it were possible, she felt more of him, possibly all of him. It wasn’t an intrusion. The presence felt familiar.
He pulled her closer, gentling her like the wild horse that needs a soft touch. “Do not cry.” His fingers feathered across her cheek, catching her tears. “Let me take the pain. Give it to me, Anna.”