His hand closed over her mouth and she silenced. “First, stop trying to take the lead. It’s my duty to guide you. Especially here, in the privacy of our bed. Second, this is not something I intend to rush. I’ve waited my entire life—”
“Stop.” She shook her head, nudging his arm away. “Hold the phone. You’ve waited your entire life? I thought we were being honest with each other.”
He frowned. “I am being honest. I’ve never shared my bed with another female.”
He was lying. She just promised to trust him, and he was lying right to her face. “But you’re thirty-seven.” Another detail she found hard to believe.
“Yes. Is it so unheard of that a man might save his virtue?”
“Uh, for thirty-seven years? Yeah. Unless you’re Steve Carell, that’s pretty unheard of.”
“I do not know this Steve. And in our culture, it’s not uncommon. Thirty-seven years is not an excessive amount of time.”
“In what universe. You realize I’m not a virgin.”
His jaw noticeably hardened as his eyes narrowed. “I did not realize that.”
Maybe this would be her opening. She tsked. “Yeah. Tarnished goods. But if you took me back I could help you find a nice shiny virgin who hasn’t felt another man inside her.”
His hand tightened around hers and he growled. “Do not goad me, Annalise.”
Something in his eyes told her this wasn’t a smart angle, so she did a quick about face in the conversation. “So you’re a virgin. Does that include sheep?” She winced. What the hell was wrong with her?
He released her hand, practically flinging it to her hip. “Good night.” He rolled to his side, his muscled back forming a wall between them.
That was it?
She gaped at him, tempted to keep talking, but worried where further conversation might lead. Adjusting the covers, she tried to get comfortable.
Hot then cold. Now, wide awake. She drew in a deep breath and let it out in a loud, obnoxious huff.
“Go to sleep, Anna.”
Yeah, she wanted to sleep, now that she promised to stay. But she fidgeted, unable to find a comfortable position. Her body was strangely alert and jumpy.
She scowled at his back. He’d been the one to wring a promise out of her. What about all the stuff Grace said?
She scoffed. Amish men were no different from the men at home. They only wanted what they couldn’t have. The moment it became available, they lost interest. Irritated, she flung the covers off her chest.
“Stop fidgeting.”
“I can’t sleep,” she snapped. “Your bed sucks.”
“The bed is fine. And watch your language.”
She rolled her eyes, kicking out her legs and scooting lower.
“Annalise, every time you shift the covers your arousal is all I smell. If you want any sleep at all, I suggest you stop moving.”
She stilled, her eyes wide in the dark. “Excuse me.”
“You’re an absolute contradiction, woman. Your mouth says one thing and your body says the opposite.”
“I am not aroused.”
“Let us not have lies between us. Not about this.”
She scoffed. “Adam, I am not turned on right now.”
He turned to face her, surprising her with a scathing glare. “You question my virility, mock my virginity, and now you dare to poison this bed with lies? Look me in the eye and deny it, Annalise. I can smell it. Your thighs are as wet as my cock is hard. At least have the dignity to speak the truth.”
Shaken by his accurate assumption, her fingers itched to wipe away the evidence of her arousal, wondering how anyone could be that attuned to another person’s body. It might only be the result of lying next to a man who wanted to touch her earlier. Or maybe because he had, briefly.
She wanted him to be wrong, but everything he said was true. She was aroused to a degree that she couldn’t sleep and she had no idea why, but lacked the dignity to admit the truth.
She didn’t want to be attracted to him. Her mind repeated the wish until it slipped out on a whisper. “I’m not attracted to you.”
“Does that lie bring you comfort?”
“It’s not a lie.” Yes, it was. And part of her wanted to prove it. Some insane part of her wanted him to spread her legs and touch her there, force her, so she could throw away any accountability and blame him for everything.
But he wasn’t to blame. He wasn’t even touching her. He hadn’t put a hand on her since she made it clear his touch wasn’t welcome.
Tense and disappointed in herself, she tried to smother her body’s response with shame. It didn’t work.
“I wasn’t thinking about you anyway,” she snapped.
His eyes opened and she stilled as if they pinned her in place with the strength of a hundred men. “Careful.”
She couldn’t look away. Adrenaline pushed an icy chill through her veins.
“I can sense your lies as easily as I can taste your desires. Your sex is weeping. Your pulse is accelerated. Your eyes are dilated. And you’re playing a very dangerous game, ainsicht.” He glanced at her chest which might as well be exposed for how much her nipples showed through the worn fabric. “That will be the last time you imply anything about other men while lying in my bed.”