He shrugs me off.
Ew. This guy is tall, built, and well-dressed, but he smells like vomit.
“Bitch, do not touch me! What the fuck?” he snaps.
What the fuck is right. It’s the biggest spider I’ve ever seen. It has to be over a half a foot in diameter, and it’s one of those fluffy ones. Is it poisonous? I do not want it to get close enough to me for me to find out.
It tumbles off the edge of the bed onto the floor, and rights itself, then comes toward us, making me screech again.
“Shut up,” Aiden’s relative snaps.
I book it for the living room, shuddering, while shouting, “Shut it in there. Shut it. Shut it!”
Aiden’s relative shuts the door and demands, “What was that?”
“I don’t know!” I’m still yelling in a screeching, high-pitched voice.
That was the biggest, scariest spider I’ve ever seen.
It dawns that it could be one of my brother’s friend’s. Sedgewick wasn’t here tonight, but there was another guy that might have been the drummer. I remember Shane talking about the singer walking around with his exotic pets out in public and he said he often has them on him during their shows. Their punk band name has something to do with insects, too, if I recall.
I didn’t even get into the master bathroom for all my toiletries. And my clothing bag is still in there because I dropped it while I was looking for my laptop.
I’m not going back in there. I’m still wearing the stupid slutty magician’s assistant getup and I might have to wear it for the rest of my life. Unless I have to exchange it for an orange prison jumpsuit.
“This… this is all just a series of unfortunate events. I’ll try to call Aiden again, explain…”
“Aiden is on his honeymoon. How is it a mishap that you’re in his apartment throwing some sort of freak sex party with costumes, giant spiders, pythons, and puking drugheads?”
“They got married? That’s awesome.”
He looks at me like I’m insane and then pulls the phone from his pocket again.
“Wait, pythons?” I look around, absolutely terrified.
He’s dialing on his phone.
“Wait… I was just… I was stuck and I still had a key, and I couldn’t get ahold of him and Shane… Shane threw the party and…”
“I don’t know who the fuck Shane is. Keys.” He holds his hand out.
“He’s my brother, and… he’s in trouble. Um…” I’m so lightheaded. I sit down on the couch and put my face into my hands.
“Are you junked out too, lady? Seriously, you need to gimme the keys and skedaddle. I really don’t wanna deal with the cops tonight after the fuckin’ day I had but I will if that’s gonna get you outta here.”
I can’t find my laptop, I don’t know where Shane went, and I have no place to go. And this guy is yelling at me and threatening to call the police.
He’s talking to me in a way I’ve never been spoken to. I don’t think I’ve ever had a confrontation such as this in my entire life.
I blow out a breath as my eyes rove the kitchen. There are my keys. Where’s my purse? I don’t see it there. I move in that direction, feeling super dizzy. Where’s my purse? He follows me and he’s asking me where I think I’m going.
I wrack my brain. I think I dropped it on the island when I got in and headed to find my brother.
Why did I drop it? This place was full of creeps. Why did I put it down? Shit. Shit, shit, shit, Jada.
I’m not thinking straight. I haven’t been thinking straight, I’m that stressed out. I look around me. I twirl at least twice trying to find it.
I’m feeling downright sick to my stomach right now. Lightheaded. I don’t know where my brother is, where my purse and phone and laptop are, or what the heck I’m going to do.
Oh. My phone is in the back pocket of my booty shorts. I pull it out. 3% remaining. No calls or texts from Shane.
I text him.
“Call me!”
I have to find my charger. I see it plugged in by the microwave.
“Listen,” the guy calls out, “I don’t know what your game is, if you’re even this girl that worked for my brother or not so I’m gonna say this is your last chance. Out.”
God.
“Out or I physically remove you,” the guy adds.
“Can I leave my and my brother’s stuff here tonight and come back tomorrow and figure it out? I’ll clean up and…”
“Go.”
“Let me have twenty minutes to get some charge on my phone, please? And then I’ll go. Fuck. I don’t know where, but I’ll wait for Shane outside, I guess. And then when he gets here, I’ll come back and clean and pick up all my stuff. I need to find my laptop and…”