I snuggle in as he’s moving me to bed, to my belly. He fucks me hard, my face smushed into the sheets, our fingers linked as he pounds into me, chasing a release.
Austin then flips me to my back and drives into me about ten more beautiful times, eyes on mine before he spills inside me.
***
“Coming to California with me?”
It’s dark and we’re cuddled up on his bed.
“Okay.”
“You wanna go back to school?”
“I might. More than anything, I just wanna try and see if I might be cut out for this writing thing.”
“I promise you; you are cut out for this writing thing.”
My heart swells with joy.
Do I dare believe that this is real? That this is mine to keep?
“You want something to drink?” he asks.
“Nope,” I say. “Just gonna take a tinkle and then I’ll be back to do my capuchin impression.”
“Okay. Then we’ll nap and later - order some food. Yeah?”
I nod.
I go to the bathroom and when I come back, he’s lying on his side, head resting on his palm.
“How are you gonna feel if Sienna is pregnant and it’s mine?”
“How do you feel about that? That’s the most important part,” I say.
“I don’t want this to be my reality,” he says, eyes filled with sorrow. “I want one wife in my life, and for my wife to be the mother to all my kids.”
“If she has to be a stepmom to one, she could still be a mom to a bunch more,” I say, stroking his cheek. “But even if she can’t, she’ll still love that baby because it’s part of you.”
He closes his eyes and blows out a breath.
“Should I drop the charges?” he asks, burying his face in my chest.
“Only you can answer that question, Austin.”
He stares at me with the equivalent of puppy dog eyes. And I want to take away all that sadness. I wish I could.
“But will my answer be the right one?” he asks.
“This is really eating you up,” I say.
“Like you have no idea. Or… you’re the one who has the evidence with the way I’ve been.”
“Break it down for me,” I suggest.
And then he tells me the kind of person she is, the kinds of stunts she pulls, how she’s an unapologetic bully spoiled rich bitch. He tells me she cheated on his brother for political reasons to help her father’s share prices in one breath and acts like Daddy’s spoiled little girl in another. He doesn’t know what to do. He wants her punished for what she did, doesn’t care if people think it’s funny for a man twice her size to call date rape; he thinks there’s principle at stake here. But he’s also been told his child might resent him if he punishes that child’s mother while that baby is growing inside her.
“I grew up without a mom, grew up with the impact of that. So did Shane. Shane is all kinds of messed up because of it and I’m all kinds of weak and pathetic because of it.”
“Hey, don’t fuckin’ say that. You are who you are because of a bunch of factors, including, yes, your family, but also you – the uniqueness of you. You’re smart, beautiful, and I’m crazy about you. Nothing pathetic about you.”
“Okay,” I concede and snuggle in.
Beautiful? I’ve always thought I’m plain. He thinks I’m beautiful?
“So you’re saying if this is my kid I shouldn’t make it suffer.”
“A child shouldn’t suffer no matter who their parents are, but that’s not how life works,” I say with a shrug. “That said, is there a way to deal with this without her going to jail? If you can find it in your heart to let it go, I mean… do you think she’d do something like this again if you let her off the hook?”
“Undoubtedly.”
“That’s unfortunate.” I twist my lips. Hm. “I don’t like the idea of anyone getting away with hurting somebody, especially if you letting it go means they’ll do it again. Okay, let me put it this way… is it fair to say you have a slightly strained relationship with your mom?”
“What’s that mean?”
“You weren’t exactly warm with her when she came here that night. And I’ve seen the gossip rags.” I widen my eyes.
“Fair,” he says.
“And if you had a choice between growing up with and without your mom, even when you’re the angriest you ever are at her, which would you pick? Especially as a little kid.”
“Point taken.”
“I get it, Austin. As angry as I’ve been with my dad many times I want him in my life. Even if he bitches and complains and says nothing to me. Even if all he does say to me is that I bought the wrong ‘fucking’ pudding. And now Dad’s gone.”
He squeezes my hand and presses a soft kiss to my mouth.