It’s better than nothing, so we agree, and Shane and I hug one another goodbye and he gets teary again.
I whisper in his ear, “I’m proud that you’re doing better. Please don’t hurt yourself again. Don’t leave me all alone in this world.”
“I won’t. I’m sorry I put you through that. So sorry. I was spinning out really bad and everything hurt so fucking much. I just wanted it to stop hurting so much.”
“Please know how much I would miss you if I didn’t have you.”
“I won’t do that to you, Jayjay. Promise.” He looks me in the eye.
I want to believe him.
But I’m scared of losing him too. So scared.
He gives me another squeeze and then I leave, thanking his doctor for all her help. She really seems to be going above and beyond.
“I am happy to try to help,” she says. “Is Austin waiting for you outside?”
I startle. “Across the street. How do you know Austin? Or is it just from the phone call?”
“I grew up with the Carmichaels. I was good friends with Adele in high school. I mean, we’re still friends but I live here so we don’t see one another much,” she says.
“Austin got you involved?”
She nods. “I didn’t realize you didn’t know. He reached out and we pulled some strings to get Shane into this pilot program here. You’re his girlfriend, right?”
“I don’t know that we’ve labeled things, but…”
“Austin who? Your new boss?” Shane asks. And then he smiles. “Good goin’ Jayjay.”
Dr. Lexington’s eyebrows shoot up and she smiles.
“I better go,” I say and get one more hug from Shane who’s going to go back and finish his game of chess.
She walks me to the door.
“Shane needs to do a lot of work, but with his medication and with him taking time to work through some of his issues as well as these new things – losing his parents – it’ll take time and effort, but I really do think he wants to do the work.”
“I hope he sticks with it. He has a hard time sticking with things, but we grew up in a home that wasn’t very loving or nurturing, and he just… he doesn’t think he’s got worth, I think.”
“His history shows he’s mostly just tried medications. We’re going to help him work through his issues, too. One without the other isn’t enough. Together, he’s got a much better chance.”
54
Austin
“You hired Dr. Lexington?” Jada asks, coming up to me in the coffee shop.
I look up from my laptop. “You okay?”
“Can you answer me, please?”
“Yeah, Tamara is friends with Adele. I made a call and asked if she had any advice about your brother’s situation. She and his lawyer talked and were able to work out getting him moved and put under her care in a pilot program that’s happening with the state and people who are in legal trouble due to mental health issues.”
She looks confused. “Was that… is that ethical?”
“It’s all above board. Nobody’s breaking any laws.”
She shakes her head. “Are you paying her? That’s a swanky hospital and I was afraid to ask about that fact.”
I flex my jaw.
“I’m paying for it.”
“And your company is paying my legal bills?”
“I am,” I admit. “I’m paying for all of it.”
Jada shakes her head and starts backing up. She bumps into a guy walking by. I reach out and catch her hand.
“Sorry,” she tells the guy.
He gives her an annoyed look and keeps going.
“Sit down here. Let’s get you something to eat and drink. How’d it go?”
She looks at me like she can’t figure me out.
“The EAP voucher?”
I shrug. “Made it up. Our company has an EAP but we wouldn’t pay $10K in legal fees for a temp employee.”
“You…I…”
She shakes her head, looking completely confounded.
“Rich people can get stuff done,” she finally says.
I shrug. “Sad, but true.”
“It’s so not fair. And you were dishonest.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I just wanted to help and I didn’t think you’d let me.”
“Why are you doing this for me?”
“Because I want to. Because…”
“I don’t like being indebted to people.”
I lean forward and kiss her hand. “In case you hadn’t noticed, this isn’t a favor. It’s not a loan. It’s me being here for you any way that I can be. You want some food or you wanna go home?”
“Home,” she whispers. And then she shakes her head. “What’s home? I guess I’m the owner of a rundown house. Is that my home though?”
“I mean Aiden’s apartment. Let’s go.”
“Austin…”
She wants to get into heavy stuff. She wants to push me away by letting me off the hook, I can tell.
“Not here. We’ll talk when we get back there.”
“I have to go through all those papers still. Open that envelope with my name on it.”
“I know. You wanna do that now?”
“I don’t, but I have to. I need to stop into the bar by my Dad’s. Tell his friends about him dying. Tell them about the funeral.”