She’d never gotten to take control of her life, not until it had turned on its ear. And then she’d found having to make all the decisions wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. Sure, she liked having her freedom in some ways. She could go for a damn walk outside whenever she liked, without having to arrange an escort. But it also came with a whole lot of crap. Like worrying about where the money was going to come from to pay the electric bill.
Yeah, real life as an adult could really suck at times. She tried to tell herself it was better than being a princess stuck in a fortified castle. Sometimes she believed that. Other times when she was living on ramen noodles, dreaming of a time when she wouldn’t have thought twice at spending a thousand dollars on a pair of shoes, not so much.
But tonight, she didn’t have to live in the real world. She didn’t have to make decisions. She’d only slept with one guy before Martin and that had been vanilla. And awkward, to say the least. She’d overthought the entire thing and ended up having to fake her orgasm. This felt right, even if Connor was pushing her more than she would have liked. Martin had never dared demand that she walk around half-naked.
Of course, Martin hadn’t actually been into her. He’d been using her. Asshole. Dickhead. She hated him. She also hoped like hell Freddy hadn’t killed him. Because she didn’t need his death on her conscience even if she’d been an unwilling pawn in the entire thing.
“You look concerned, wildcat.” Connor placed his hand around the nape of her neck, possessively. She’d never have thought she would enjoy that but as soon as he did it, she felt grounded. Settled. “Everything okay?”
He pulled the gag out and she moved her jaw around a little. He popped it into his bag. She hoped that meant she didn’t have to wear it anymore. She didn’t exactly enjoy not being able to talk.
“I’m okay, Sir.”
“Rule number four.”
Damn it. There were a lot of rules. Why did he have to be such a stickler for rules? Nerves danced around in her stomach. What would he think of her if he found out who she truly was? What would any of them think?
They’d turn away from you in disgust. Because of who your brother is.
She loved her brother. Even after all this crap he still had her loyalty. Even if she couldn’t say the same about him.
It doesn’t matter. They will never know who you are.
“Rule number four is no lying.”
What? Oh right. No lying.
She wasn’t lying, exactly. She just couldn’t tell him everything. Even if she felt guilty as hell.
“What now, Sir?”
“Now, we go for a little walk. I have the urge to dress you.”
“Dress me, Sir?”
“You ever experienced Shibari?”
Her breath hitched. “No, Sir. I’ve seen it done, but my old Dom, he’d never done it before.”
He nodded. “It’s not for everyone, but I enjoy it. A lot of subs find it calms them. Helps them shift into subspace. Would you trust me enough to wrap you up?”
Would she? Uh, yeah.
“You won’t leave me?” She had to make sure.
He grasped her chin, lifting her face up so he could stare into her eyes. “Never. I have never, nor would I ever, leave my sub when they were bound. And I always keep EMT shears close by in case I need to get you out quickly. I’ve been practicing Shibari for years. Any hint of discomfort or fear and you say yellow or red, yeah?”
“Yes, Sir.” She nodded. “I want to try.”
He smiled, the lines around his eyes crinkling. God, he was gorgeous when he smiled. It transformed his face. It made her go a little weak in the knees.
“Come then, little sub. Let’s get you dressed.” He tugged lightly at one of the nipple clamps and she gasped. “I’ll take these off soon. I like seeing you wearing my clamps.”
Strange thing was, she kind of liked it too.
Connor kept his hand on the nape of her neck, guiding her towards the suspension room. He watched the way she looked around her. Upon entering, they saw a couple already playing. The sub was suspended several feet in the air, her Dom had positioned her so she lay on her back, the ropes around her waist, hips, and under her arms. Her wrists were bound and her head tilted down. The Dom had his pants down around his ankles and was feeding her his cock. From the sounds she made, she was thoroughly enjoying sucking him off.
Connor stilled so they could watch. He noted the way Ria’s face flushed, her eyes growing glassy. He knew if he checked, her pussy would be glistening with dew.